Does anyone else think that New Year's Eve is lame?

I do. It's lame and overrated.
That's it.

*Note what time I am posting this. I am pathetic.
(the posting on the blog is incorrect, I am actually posting at 9 pm)

Everyone and their dog is getting married...

But not me.

I'm okay with that. Really.

If it means a few years of being able to do what I want when I want to do it, great.
If it means that I get to travel more and meet more people, awesome.
If it means that I get to flirt with more boys and practice my "three degrees of hugging" and my winking skills, bring it on.
If it means that I won't have kids for a while, then I will cherish all the nights of sleep I have left.
If it means that I will have to be content with my single status, then I will be happy.

Oh there's no place like home for the holidays

Merry Christmas!

With the holidays being here I feel like my creative blog juices are also on vacation. But I wanted to wish my blog followers a very Merry Christmas (all two of you).

I honestly feel that Christmas day is very anti-climatic. I enjoy the Christmas buildup more than Christmas Day. So in my family Christmas Eve is actually a bigger deal than Christmas Day. We have a big dinner and then we perform a nativity play. This involves wearing crazy costumes, crying babies, Christmas carols, crying kids, and, of course, the story of the birth of the Savior. We then gorge ourselves on treats afterwards. Hooray for eggnog.

Here are a few highlights:

Stephen and I take 1...beautiful and smiley


And here we are again...take 2...GQ baby

Julie singing with John B

Joseph was a cow...for 5 minutes...


Adam was the Angel Gabriel and carried little angels with him (Bethany and Lizzy)

Davey, the Shepherd's tag along


And then there's babies smothering the baby Jesus, aka Anna.


Oh I love my family! Merry Christmas everyone!

You may never know your influence but sometimes you will

On my mission I remember feeling discouraged a lot of the time because I simply wanted to know if I influenced people for the better. I felt like I put forth so much effort everyday in trying to help people come unto Christ that I often wondered if anyone besides myself was benefiting from all of this. Looking back I kind of chuckle because...Daaa...of course I influenced people!! I was a missionary for crying out loud! However, I never received a ton of thanks for my 1.5 years service. And I didn't need to and I still don't need to. I felt that thanks primarily from the Lord and that has been enough for me to feel satisfied with my mission in Toronto.

This semester has been great for so many different reasons. I feel like I've grown in many ways. I came into it telling myself that I was going to put myself out there and make the best of my new situation. I wasn't going to change myself for anyone nor was I going to let other people affect me. I was just Susie, like it or not. I'm not saying this to boast or anything, but I think a lot of people liked me. I am surprised how much good we can do by just being who we are, living the commandments, and being aware of others. I have been happily surprised that so many people are "kicking and screaming" that I am moving to D.C. in a few weeks. I am definitely flattered. I just never thought that me being in Condo Row for three months would have that much effect on anyone. I kind of thought I'd be one of those phantom church goers...you know renew my covenants, fulfill my calling, but not be overly involved.

Somehow I got found out. And I can honestly say that I will miss this place I now call home.

So going back to my mission. I often did not know my influence but this semester I have. It has been a huge blessing to know that in any situation we're in, we can make a difference to someone. We can be an influence. We can be their answer to prayer. Heaven knows many of my prayers have been answered this semester and many have influenced me for the better.

I am grateful to feel so enriched by others and I am glad that I could be there for them when they needed it and vice-versa.

Sometimes we know our influence and sometimes we don't. But regardless, we just have to keep going forward in our life. Who knows who's life we will touch next?

Sometimes you have to use the mean voice

This week and last Friday I have been at Provo High teaching ESL students. I am doing this to fulfill my practicum requirement for my ESL minor. It has been a great experience! I have finally been able to put into practice all of the methods and theories that I have learned. I am also learning just how taxing teaching is. I realize that as good as I may be at teaching, if students don't want to be there, then there's not a ton you can do (Diane, I'm sure you're nodding your head vigorously right now!).

I've been teaching my ESL students how to write a letter. Not too difficult right? Most of them already know the basic steps. I thought this would be a good activity because then they can make a Christmas card for their parents or a friend. Better than doing a worksheet, right? Well, today was difficult. Yesterday I did the same lesson and the kids behaved and did their work. However, today was a day to pull out the mean voice.

I don't consider myself a mean person at all, but today I was. These kids fooled around and I had to be very mean to them. Finally they did their work, although half-heartedly. I usually try to joke around and have fun with the students but not today. Today I was mean. mean. mean. mean.

And it felt good.

Temple work brings great blessings to our lives.

Today was my last day working at the Provo Temple. Since May I have been working at the temple; getting up every Saturday morning at 5:40am. It has been a terrific experience to serve although I know I have complained about the early morning hours a few times.

Since I've worked there I wouldn't say that my life has all of a sudden worked out for me or has even fell into place. Sometimes when we think of sacrificing our time for the Lord we think that we will reap these huge blessings. We do reap blessings, just not in the way that we think.

In January I spoke to my Stake President about attending the temple (this was before I was a temple worker). I told him that when I attended more often than not I didn't feel like I was getting anything out of the session. I felt even empty at times. Prayers that I pleaded weren't being answered and no amazing revelation was being revealed to me. He told me to remember to focus on others while attending, not myself. If I went to the temple expecting revelation every time, then I was missing out on the opportunity to put my life on hold and serve someone else.


I have taken that counsel to heart as a temple worker. Because the shift is so early in the morning I am often tired. My thoughts do drift and my prayers are not always fervent. However, as I've sacrificed that time to the Lord, I have seen many blessings in my life. These are not big ones, but these are blessings that I have noticed in my life since May:

• I have a stronger testimony of the atonement of Jesus Christ.
• I understand the ordinances better and how they ultimately bring us closer to Christ.
• I have a renewed understanding of what it means to follow the prophet and to attend the temple often.
• I have been more fully protected by the adversary and the ways of the world.
• My eternal perspective is greater.
• I have more faith in the Lord's plan for me. I still fret but deep down I feel innate peace.
  
• I react better to change and I am more willing to change myself.
• I am more compassionate.
• I have a greater capacity to put off the "natural man."
• I think more often of the covenants in the temple. The words come to my mind during the week when I am struggling or when I am formulating gospel connections.
• I think more often of others. Every week I think about people in my life (family, friends, acquaintances) who are struggling in life and need an extra prayer.
• I have a greater desire to live the commandments.
• I have made friends and have strengthened friendships with those friends that I see as I work my shift.
• I have greater insights of the gospel and can relate the gospel to my temporal life.
• I want, more than anything, to live in the Celestial Kingdom with my spouse, children, parents, brothers and sisters, in-laws, and the list goes on to all of my other family members. I want to be worthy of the Lord's presence.

I am so grateful that I have been able to work at the temple. It has been a huge blessing for me to serve and to think of others. I know that temple work is the Lord's work. I will miss being a temple worker.

We are the CHAMPIONS, my friends

So I have been on many intramural teams over my BYU career. Freshman year I think I was even on a wallyball team...don't even ask me what that is. Most of the teams I've been on have mostly been soccer and basketball. These teams have not been good...usually we've lost almost every game. This semester one of my friends from my old ward asked me to be on a coed intramural basketball team. I reluctantly agreed, thinking that I could at least get some exercise.

So even though I only went to 1.5 games of the entire season, I happened to go to the game that counted; the championship. One of the girls on our team played for Dixie State College so with her making the majority of the points and me chipping in my own 5 points, we won the game. (A lot of others participated too, I shouldn't really take any credit for our win).

And after five years of BYU I have the most coveted t-shirt of all.

The BYU Intramural Championship T-shirt.

I know people who would do anything to have this shirt. I know people who have busted their intramural butts trying to acquire this rare commodity. And now I have it and they don't.

Haha.

I'm looking forward to being "wife-zoned"

So in my college years, I have noticed a pattern with boys. To put it simply, I am often "friend-zoned." My friend, Marci Wright taught me this term this summer. It means that guys use various ways to ensure that I am a friend, not an interest.

Here are a few examples (real life by the way):

A guy in my ward is talking to me and he asks me if I know a certain girl. I say I do, but not very well. He then asks if I will get to know her better so that I can find out whether or not she has a boyfriend. Yep, friend-zoned.

A friend that I work with in the temple texts me and asks me if I can ask a sister temple worker if she has a boyfriend. Although he doesn't know her name, he is confident that I can still find a way to get to know her and ask her about her personal life with only one Saturday left to work at the temple. Friend-zoned.

A friend spends a whole evening in my company and tells me how amazing this other girl is and how no other girl will compare. Shall I say friend zoned??

My home teacher tells me how awesome I am and tells me that I will one day make a quality wife...to another man. Definitely friend zoned.

I hope those examples are clear to all of you. Can I just say that I am excited for the day that a guy will come up to me and say, "Wow, you're the most wonderful woman I have ever met and I want to date you." Yah, that will be blissful.

Oh even better when they ask me to be their wife because they want no other.

Lets just say that I'm looking forward to being wife-zoned.

Nostalgic

Well with my last week of class coming up, I am becoming very nostalgic. When finals end on December 18th, that will be it for me. Yes, I have student teaching in DC where I will still be a BYU student but no longer will I be on BYU campus taking classes.

It's so funny because as I walk on campus now, I take it in. I look at the mountains and revel over their beauty. I see the library as not so much of a prison, but as a place to learn and a place to run into a million of my friends. I bask in the cheerful atmosphere of the ISP office (that's one of the places that I work). I walk past memorable spots on campus: the HFAC, the family statue, the JFSB, the MARB, and all of the other buildings where I have had class over the last five years.

I see the fresh RM's pounding the backs of their long-lost trainer who they greet in the middle of a crowded pathway.

I see the medieval club members (also known as the Quills and Swords) donning their dresses, tights, and wooden swords while singing to some mandolin.

I see signs and advertisements for the forums, devotionals, preference, and all the free activities on campus.

I see boys flirting with girls--a little too noisily--in the periodicals of the library.

I see old roommates, home teachers, acquaintances from class, mission peeps and friends on campus.

I see students flooding to BYU football games in their "true blue" apparel.

I see students carrying scriptures while talking about the latest General Conference and its amazingness.

I see freshman playing fugitive on campus; annoying all of the upper class-man.

I see change in myself over the last five years of my BYU experience.

And all these memories wash over me.

Although the changes are necessary and good for more reasons than one, I can't help but be a little nostalgic.

I will miss you, BYU.

Check out my new playlist

So now I have a playlist on my blog. I could only think of three songs that I really wanted to share, but I'm sure I'll keep adding more as I become more educated about music. I hope you enjoy!

Oh, and I hope you're all enjoying my seasonal blog backgrounds. Until I can figure out a background that I actually like, I will probably be changing it up. I think you'll deal with these changes fine. You can do it.

Abundant--not scarcity-- living.

A week ago in class I was talking to one of my fellow classmates and we talked about our lives, our worries, etc...(I should clarify that this was after class was over). Anyway, she brought up a really good point about life. She told me that she is trying to look at life abundantly rather than scarcely. It's so easy for us to get caught up in "scarcity living, " for example, "I don't have a nice car, I don't have great health, I don't have enough money, I don't have the body, and I don't have a man (yep, that's me)."

We could go off about all the things we don't have. However, she said that as she has tried to look at life abundantly, she has found many more blessings. She has learned to dwell on the positives and not on the negatives. This topic has been discussed many times. Heck, wasn't it years ago that Oprah said that she writes in a gratitude journal??? I really like this way of thinking.

I have been so blessed in my life, truly I have. However it seems when I lack a few things, I dwell on those few things I don't have. Luckily, Heavenly Father is there to give me the necessary slap in the face (metaphorically speaking) when I forget all that I have been blessed with this year.

So I wanted to publicly announce my gratitude by mentioning a few people that I am grateful for in my life:

Dad: for his life and legacy. For his righteousness and gospel insights. For his ability to grow stronger in times of trial and tribulation.
Mom: for always being a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. She may hobble around now, but she puts a smile on her face and has an optimistic attitude.
Kathryn: for being my cheerleader, telling me that I can do hard things with my life. She is proactive herself and so I have tried taking up that attitude and making the most with my life.
Mark: for also being an example of proactivity. For giving me sound advice and making me feel like I am worth a million dollars. (I am his favorite sister-in-law you see....shhhhh)
Julie: for being so kind-hearted and supportive of my life. She is an example of trust and compassion. Plus, she'll shimmy with me when the right song comes on. Baby!
Sam: for always challenging my opinion and perspective, forcing me to create my own. For being an example of righteousness. For laughing at my ridiculous jokes...or life...
Chrissie: for being a Barbara Walters to me. I know I can confide in her when I need a friend. She is personable, caring, and kind. Plus, she will be silly with me anytime!
Scott: for being so good. When I think of Scott, I think of goodness. For his calming nature. I know I am always welcome at their house and he likes it when I'm there.
John: For his witty sense of humor and his desire to know about my life. I know I can laugh with him about silly things. For his desire to be in touch with everyone. For his gentleness...
Karla: For her knowledge of all of the cheesy romances out there! She is my pride and prejudice guru. She is also very personable and I enjoy talking to her.
Stephen: For his ability to follow the spirit. For the fact that I can tell him about spiritual things and he'll get it. For his validation of me and support in my life.
Jenny: For her outspoken nature that helps me to be more courageous. She is one of my cheerleaders and I appreciate her interest and care in my life.
For all my nieces and nephews: For making me feel like the coolest aunt ever even if I don't always play with you. For your hugs, for your compliments. For teaching me essential truths and reminding me of my greater purpose that lies ahead.
Zandy: for making me feel like the most beautiful person in the world and for constantly giving me love and support.
Diane: for her ability to make me laugh about random things. For being my teaching confidante, a constant friend, and another single sympathizer.
Erin: for being my bestie this semester. For letting me show my my true colors immediately. For watching every sappy movie with me that we own.
Satyra: for laughing at my jokes, telling me that I'm pretty when she's the gorgeous one, for being her sweet self and then stealing all the boys. :)
Adrienne: for our discussions about the gospel, for our united hatred of pets, for emptying the dishwasher and loading it all the time.
Ashley: for being my best friend. For teaching me about charity. For making fun of quills and swords peeps on campus.
Shauna: for letting me cry in front of her, for giving me a benefit of a doubt, for being able to carry on a very spiritual then a very silly conversation with her.
Marcee: for also letting me cry, for being my dancing buddy, for being really excited about things, for involving me in her life.
Samuel: for writing me love notes on gmail, for being a worthy priesthood holder, for thinking I'm cool after months of not liking me that much.
Carolyn: for being someone that I can confide in, for drinking hot chocolate at her house, for being so strong and an example to me.
Kathleen: for being the only friend from high school that I really talk to, for supporting me in whatever I do, for laughing at my not-so-funny jokes. For always being there.
Stacia: for being someone who believes in me and who thinks I'm amazing. For being a wonderful listening ear and a true friend.
Joanna: for letting me spill my deep emotions to her, for being so understanding, for loving me even when I am spastic, for being a constant friend.

There are many people that I left out so if you're reading this and I didn't mention you, don't feel bad! These are people that came to my mind but there are many many more out there who have made a huge impact on me this year that I didn't even mention.

Above all, I am grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am grateful for his sacrifice that is eternal. He knows me the best. He is my friend and I strive to show him my appreciation by serving him.

May we all remember that we have abundant lives this Thanksgiving. It's all a matter of how we look at it...

P.S. I know this is a random pic, but I kinda like it. The caption for the photo is "gratitude rocks." Knee slapper, I know.

Call me cliche but I think I have a crush on Edward...

I would never call myself obsessed with the Twilight series by any means. Sure, I've read them all, but mostly I've skimmed through the last two books. I never got too into the movie, well until I met Erin anyway. My roommate, Erin, is pretty obsessed. She's been religiously watching the trailer since it appeared on you tube or any internet website. As the premier of the movie got closer, I became more and more excited. I had no expectations, I knew it would be cheesy, and I do think Bella is pretty annoying. However, as I watched the movie I couldn't help it...

I have a crush on Edward!

I can't explain it, but the duo has amazing chemistry. And lets face it, Edward is gorgeous and Rob Patterson pulls off the American accent very well. I recommend the movie to all of those who are not ashamed of some cheesiness in their life. If you enjoy Pride and Prejudice, Hallmark Hall of Fame movies, The Work and the Glory, and Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, then chances are you will love Twilight. If you fit that description, you go to movies mostly for entertainment purposes rather than analyzing the heck out of the acting and the filming. Yep, that's me...I'll admit it.

I haven't had such a movie crush since I was obsessed with Leonardo DiCaprio in 7th grade when Titanic came out onto the big screen. I saw that movie 5 times in the theater. Yeah, ridiculous.

Twilight may come close to beating that record...

http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj117/eternalpasion/other%20twilight%20graphics/twilight_wallpaper003.png

I have some pretty sweet jobs.

A lot of people discourage students who work while in college. However, as much as it would be nice not to have to work sometimes, I am really grateful that I do work. Besides the fact that I have an income (you know at a whopping 8 bucks/hour...thanks BYU), which helps me pay for things, I must say that I have some pretty sweet jobs.

Let me explain. Right now I have 2 jobs. I work at the International Studies Program Office in the Kennedy Center and I also work at the Special Collections in the Harold B. Lee Library. Allow me to explain what I do at work (Besides all of the duties that I have to do which are boring and you don't need to know about nor do you care):

The ISP Office:

• I eat candy and order candy for the internship mug
  
• I make beautiful decorations for holidays and birthdays with my coworker, Carrie.
• I talk to the facilitators about my social life while they eat candy. Note: facilitators help students apply for international programs, etc...
• I talk to Charisse, my coworker, about Jane Austen movies that I love and funny boy stories.
• I get to deliver balloons and learn how to work an old-school popcorn machine maker.
  
• I talk to Nancy and all the other travel ladies about my future life's decisions. She reassures me that my life will work out. Thanks Nancy!
• Sometimes I get to take field trips to the BYU bookstore to buy things for the office with the department card. I love manilla folders.
• I flirt with good-looking boys who ask me about ISP programs.
  

The Special Collections:

• I get to listen to my boss, Russ, whistle to some folk tunes.
  
• I tease my boss, Russ, about how I am his favorite. He usually agrees with me.
• I sometimes get to take field trips to the candy counter at the BYU bookstore where we buy chocolate with the big tips that patrons give us for working so hard.
• I eat bagels left over from the seminar room.
• When Russ blasts his music, my coworkers and I dance (much to the chagrin of my supervisor, Irene).
  
• I get to see cool things contained in the Special Collections: Jimmy Stewart's accordion, the original score for "Gone with the Wind," a letter written by Abraham Lincoln, a certificate signed by George Washington, the original Book of Mormon, the Oscar for the musical, "Camelot," mini books, a sword, a helmet, Kirtland bank notes signed by Joseph Smith, and the list goes on....
• My coworkers think I'm funny and that makes me happy.
  
• I flirt with good-looking boys who need help finding a book or a call number
  

These are the advantages of working at these jobs...obviously I actually do my work that I am supposed to. Although past job opportunities haven't worked out for me, these have really fit my needs and I have made a lot of friends. God knows what He's doing.

Oh...and I get to go to 2 Christmas parties. How sweet is that??

Christ is my relief pitcher and He has a 100% winning streak

One thing that has been constant about my college experience is that it's simply transient. Every year has been different: roommates, friends, callings, boys I've liked, classes, experiences...and the list goes on. I have realized that change is really difficult for me. Although I do thrive from it, the initial experience is bitter. It's after the change has taken place that I see the fruits of change and I am grateful for it.

With all of this change, it can be difficult to find some sort of constant influence in my life. The friends that I thought would always be around have since come and gone (though a choice few have stuck around). However, as much as they were constant at one point in my life, many are no longer my trusted confidantes (not because I don't want them to be but because of circumstances). My family is an exception to this. They have been a steady influence in my life. They have seen me through the dark ages of preteen years, through the obnoxious boy crazy years, to the insecure college student, and through to the amazing RM that I am now (right guys? I am being sarcastic) However, although they are constant, they still have their own lives and I do not expect them to be at my beg and call.

In May I had a breakdown. The constancy of friends that I thought I secured for myself dwindled and I suddenly felt that I had no one that I could really rely on anymore. Needless to say it was difficult and I felt very alone. One day during sacrament meeting I had this epiphany about change and consistency. I don't watch much baseball, but I suddenly thought of Christ as my relief pitcher. I realized that all of us are playing in this game of life and we try so hard to do it ourselves. We try hard to be a good people, to perform our callings, to do well in our professions, to be loving family members and friends. But lets face it...we fail everyday at doing things perfectly. We always come up short. Oftentimes when we come up short, we naturally want to depend on these good friends or family members to get us through the trials of life. However, I have learned and I am still learning that as great as these external people can be in my life, they cannot always be there for me 100% of the time. They will fail my expectations, they will move away, they will get married, they will die, etc...

And then it hit me...

Jesus Christ is the true constant that saves me daily from my shortcomings and faults. It is Him that will relieve me when I simply want to throw in the towel. Sometimes this relief comes in the 9th inning of my day. Sometimes it's the 7th or the 5th, maybe even the 1st. Regardless, Christ is the only person in my life that is constantly there for me. Others may disappoint, but not Jesus Christ. He has a 100% winning streak. He never lets me down...ever. Interestingly enough, I often disappoint Him. I will not always stay constant in my dedication to Him and I can't because I am flawed. But no matter how many times I disappoint Him, He never disappoints me. This is the beauty of the atonement.

Change is constant in all of our lives. As we face hard times and move from one stage to the next, we must remember that we cannot trust in the arm of flesh for a steadying influence (we should be able to put our trust in our spouse, yet they will still come up short); instead it is Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world, who is the anchor, who is steadfast, who is the north star, and who is the one that succors us in our time of need.

Jesus Christ is my relief pitcher and He has a 100% winning streak. No one else can do that for me; only Him.

Sometimes you just want your mom

So my mom is currently in the Middle East...yeah, lets hope she doesn't get bombed over there. I've known about this trip for a while, 6 months at least. She's been gone like 11 days so far. She doesn't come home till next Tuesday.

Tangent for a second...I am 24 and I served a mission where I didn't see my mom for 1.5 years and I only talked to her 3 times during those 19 months. Okay, now back to what I was saying...

Anyway, I really miss my mom. More so than I ever thought. Its not so much that I haven't seen her but it's more that I don't have her available to me at the click of a button. My mom knows all the little things about my life and she cares about the obscure details. I tell her everything. Its nights like these where I want to talk to my mom, cry, tell her everything that's wrong in my life and how I feel complete and utter despair. Although she doesn't have all the answers and I know things won't change at the snap of my fingers, her words bring comfort to me.

So mom, I hope you know that your trip has made me appreciate you more. Thanks for being my shoulder to cry on, my friend, my empathizer. I feel like it should be Mother's Day. Anyway, I love you! Can't wait till you're back in the US of A.

hugs and hugs.

Jamara, the UNICEF kid

Back in September I ran into one of my old buddies from London. He works for UNICEF and gave me a stick with a huge picture of an African-American kid plastered onto it. Right after I received this kid I took it home and hid it underneath Erin's comforter. She freaked out the first time she saw it. Now it's kind of a joke. We hide it different places just for fun. We named him Jamara and we often call him the UNICEF kid.

This is Jamara...and me.

We've hid him in places like the closet...

We've found Jamara rummaging through our dirty laundry (that's Erin's, not mine:)

and resting on Erin's pillow

The fun part is that we don't know where or when Jamara will pop up next! Gotta love Jamara.

another girl's night come and gone.

I see a trend in my social life. No, it's not an influx of boys or a million parties that have the best scene in Provo. No, its not homecoming, ice cream, movie night, games, t-peeing or Chinese fire drill.

What is it you might ask??

Girl's Night.

How many of these events have I been invited to in my life? Millions. "Suz, we're having girl's night, you should come...we're painting nails...we're watching a movie...we're doing makeup...we're playing truth or dare (no sticker pimples involved)." And the list goes on.

I have nothing against girl's night. I appreciate the facebook invites, the enrichment activities, the texts and the mere inclusion for that matter. I love girls, they are my buddies.

However, I just wonder one thing:

Can I ever have a boy's night? You know where I get asked out on a date? Or where I watch a flag football game and bond with the athletes over some hot chocolate afterwards? Or even just a "lets go see a dollar movie!" Heck, I wouldn't care if we saw his grandma!

A boy's night would be nice sometime. I'd like a little testosterone.


Disclaimer: I'm not trying to sound negative, I just find it humorous.

Blessed, Blessed Chiropractor

So after a year of having back pain, I finally decided to bite the bullet and go to the chiropractor. As a college student, I don't have all the money in the world to just spend $30/appointment on chiropractic help. However, today was the day that my back would change for the better. It's amazing how a 30 minute appointment can do wonders! So similar to Alma 34:32 that we should not procrastinate the day of our repentance, I hereby declare that I should not ever procrastinate a day at the chiropractor again! Having back pain? Go see a chiropractor.

P.S. This is not chiropractor related, but go Prop 8! Boo yah!

Image: http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/dcr0337l.jpg

FACT: God truly does direct our life.

Without going into details, I found out some news yesterday that confirmed a decision I made months and months ago. Back in February I received a prompting from the Holy Ghost that seemed ridiculous. To my natural eyes, this did not make any sense to me whatsoever. I was comfortable in my current situation and the idea of change did not appeal to me. However, the prompting was so strong that I literally felt sick to my stomach because I could not accept it. However, once I acknowledged it and said, "Fine, I'll do it" (yes, I was still reluctant), it was like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. That decision I made was finally put into action in September and since then, I've been content with this decision, but I had not fully realized the reasoning for it. Today I do not know the full implications of this decision, but I know more now than I did a few weeks ago as to why this decision was so good for me to make.

To sum up, I know that Heavenly Father is in charge. He knows what things we need to do to be happy. He directs our lives and will guide us in the right direction if we are willing to follow His will for each of us.

Just gotta keep putting myself out there

If one of my close friends or family members were to define my personality, I think they'd say, "Susie's outgoing, she's friendly, she's fun..." Maybe they'd say a few other things (she cries a lot, too sensitive for her own good, etc...). Yet, for the most part I think I'm a pretty happy-go-lucky gal. You'd think that with the personality that I have, that I would love being social and out in the "scene." However, I'm discovering as I get out older that there are few times that I really want to get out on the "scene." I've realized that I'd rather hang out with quality people and that that the quantity doesn't matter.

Tonight was one of those nights that being on the "scene" sounded exciting. My ward threw a Halloween party and I looked forward to going all week. I dressed up as a flapper (yeah history) and I thought I looked pretty cute. I feel more adjusted to my new ward now and so I felt fine going by myself as I do have some friends. So I go to the party, I dance a little, I eat a donut. I notice little clique formations on the dance floor so I think, "high school? really?"The people I know say hi to me but it's still at that awkward stage to a degree. I end up asking what their major is...again...because I can't remember what they told me the first two times that I talked to them. I try not to be disappointed when certain people aren't there and the list goes on.

So I have made a realization tonight and this is what I've discovered: half the time I put myself out there, these social events end up being a bust. T0night was kind of a bust. I didn't have a horrible time, I just didn't love it either. But then there are times that I put myself out there, and I LOVE it and I am so glad that I attended the social occasion. So, on nights like these, I tell myself that it's just one party, just one social event, and in the meantime...

I just gotta keep putting myself out there.

One day it'll pay off for good.

"I'm a survivor, I'm not gon give up"...can you hear Destiny's Child??

So today was my first time teaching at a high school ever. I survived! Sure, I have volunteered before, but that's nothing in comparison with managing a class, taking roll, ignoring questions that are inappropriate, giving directions, and making sure these students are actually learning something! Yeah, definitely different than touchy feely Relief Society. My practicum teacher (who is my adviser in this whole pre-student teaching process) warned me that this class would be the class of HE**...so I prepared myself for a horrible time at Lehi High School today. However, I actually had fun. Besides a few students students dissing on BYU football (why I outta...) and not having the desire to complete their school work, the entire time I thought to myself, "hey, I can do this and I can be darn good at this." Oh, I just loved joking around with the students and playing off of their comments that were supposed to throw me off. I did learn very quickly that not everyone loves history and not everyone loves to learn. I think I subconsciously know those things, but in my mind when I think of teaching I think of an ideal classroom where students love to learn and want to contribute to the learning process...WRONG...yah, it's pulling teeth out there! But, I think I have found something besides my "high school talents" (aka...I can sing, I can play basketball, I made the honor roll...) that I'm good at. I can teach! Wow, I have more talents! This is exciting. Stay tuned for more.

p.s. I just found out that I got 100% on my midterm for my Teaching Methods class. Go me.

Rejoice with those that Rejoice

Most of us are familiar with Mosiah 18 in the Book of Mormon (see www.mormon.org). Those who are baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are told that in order to uphold our baptismal covenant we must, "mourn with those that mourn, comfort those that stand in need of comfort and to be witnesses of God at all times and in all things and in all places..." (vs. 9) In my life, I feel like I have taken the command to "mourn with those that mourn" pretty seriously. Having faced my own set of trials, I have seen how my empathy for those that face similar trials have blessed their life as well as my own.

One day at church a girl shared with us something she learned in one of her religion classes at BYU. She said something to the affect of, "We need to not only mourn with those that mourn but rejoice with those that rejoice." Although this is not scriptural, I think that the phrase, "rejoice with those that rejoice" is pertinent to our lives. Being at BYU, it is really easy to compare. Especially because most people here are high achievers, talented, and very beautiful. It is easy to compare and sometimes difficult to be happy for those who are successful in ways that I may not be successful in...yet.

If a girl comes in with a shiny diamond ring to church, I know most girls are thinking in the back of their head, "Wow, what a beautiful ring [ok, well sometimes they're ugly]! I want one of those! When is it my turn? When will I find that special someone?" My point in saying this is that it's hard to rejoice with those that rejoice, or be happy for someone when they're happy and you don't have that happiness in your reach...yet.

I think we can all have that mindset. Wow, my neighbor bought a new house, car, ipod, etc...or another person is able to take a grand tour of Europe while you're still stuck in Boondocks, Utah. Or that person gets the job that they want, the man they want, the scholarship they want, the kids they want, the popularity they want, the body they want, and the list can go on.

My reason for talking about this is that this is an acquired skill to rejoice with those that rejoice. I don't even think it's as easy as just saying, "ohhhh, I am SO happy for you" in that annoying voice that we all despise! This is a Christ-like attribute, something that we must pray for. Obtaining this attribute is definitely a work in progress. I have just recognized that I need to do this more. I need to be happy for those who obtain the desires of their heart even if I have not yet obtained mine.

Why should we do this? Christ has asked us to love others and by loving others I believe it also means that we are happy for them when they are happy. By doing this we do not become cynical, pessimistic, or judgmental of other people. By doing this we become more charitable, meaning we are long-suffering in the things that we do not have; waiting patiently upon the Lord. By doing this, it means that when I finally obtain the righteous desires of my heart I am much more compassionate of those who are still waiting for their promised blessings. It means that I am less likely to boast and more likely to be grateful. By doing this, I am that much more qualified to enter the celestial kingdom.

I'm not sure why I wrote this today, but I think mainly to keep me in line and to remember that happiness is a choice that I must make everyday. I hope to choose to rejoice with those that rejoice and that, in turn, people will rejoice when I rejoice.

Heartsong

I am hesitant writing this post because I know that I may be ridiculed. However, I am risking ridicule to share with you all something very funny. A few weeks ago my roommate Erin and I had confession night. We told each other things that we secretly love that we normally don't tell anyone. After a few confessions I said, "Erin, I really love the TV show Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman" and cringed, afraid of ridicule. I should have known better. Erin reacted with a resounding, "I LOVE that show!!!" Ever since that time, we are better friends than ever. First, we found Dr. Quinn on youtube then I registered for a free netflix membership for two weeks. My roommates and I are in Dr. Quinn heaven...I can already hear the ridicule.

Today is my roommate, Satyra's birthday. In honor of her 21st, Erin and I found a Dr. Quinn and Sully picture. We photoshopped Satyra's face over Dr. Quinn's and now she is wrapped in his manly arms. This is her reaction to the photo:

Yeah, hilarious. It was one of the most creative birthday presents I have ever given anyone and all for two bucks!! We all laughed for ten minutes straight. Satyra shows it off like a new baby. Yeah, I've already given myself a pat on the back.

And here's the rest of us (me, Satyra, Erin)...in celebration of her debut with Sully, her heartsong:

Gotta love Dr. Quinn!

D.C. doesn't know what's hitting em'

So I found out last Thursday that I have been accepted to the Washington D.C. student teaching program through BYU. I know, I'm a little delayed in reporting this wonderful news. However, life is busy and it has not occupied my thoughts as much as my next homework assignment that is due.

So, here we will celebrate. HOORAY! I am pretty excited about it actually. There have been 8 of us selected to go. We will live in a penthouse called Crystal Towers right in the heart of D.C. ohhhh. They say that out of all of our BYU housing arrangements, this will be the nicest and it's for a pretty reasonable cost! Not too shabby. We student teachers will teach in one of two schools in the inner city. Yeah, a lot of people are scared for me. I, however, am not. I'll let you know about the fear factor when I get there. Along with teaching history, we will be able to see some sights along the east coast: Harper's Ferry, Gettysburg, Jamestown, etc...it will be great to see these places through the eyes of a history teacher.

In conclusion, I am really psyched about this upcoming adventure. It will be tough, I know. But from past experience, when I do hard things, I am always grateful. Bring on the hard. I can do hard things!

The Mission: Glad I went on one!

A few days ago, Friday to be exact, I went to my mission reunion! The Ashtons (my mission president) have a big red barn in Wallsburg, up near Heber. It is a beautiful piece of country. It was great to reunite with CTWM folk and to see the Ashtons. I felt giddy saying hi to all of my old companions, district leaders, APs, etc...I was reminded, once again, how my mission literally changed my life for the better.

A few days ago, friday to be exact, I went to my mission reunion! The Ashtons (my mission president) have a big red barn in Wallsburg, up near Heber. It is a beautiful piece of country. It was great to reunite with CTWM folk and to see the Ashtons. I felt giddy saying hi to all of my old companions, district leaders, APs, etc...I was reminded, once again, how my mission literally changed my life for the better. (FYI...Above is a picture of me and my greenie, Sister Katie Simpson, one of the best missionaries in the CTWM)


These are some ways I feel like I have been changed forever because of my mission. Feel free to agree/disagree with any of these. (I hope you don't disagree though)

1. I have made some of my best friends on my mission who have taught me some incredibly amazing and incredibly difficult lessons. I am grateful to these friends who are not only fun to be with, but who spiritually uplift me and make me want to be a better person.

2. I understand what charity is...it is so much more than giving away money, liking someone a lot because I know they like me, or smiling at your neighbor who you secretly despise. Charity is not giving away money, but giving away time. Putting the person first over the circumstance. Charity is loving my enemies, yes, this means that they don't like me, they may even hate me. Heaven forbid. Charity is smiling at that person because you have a sincere love for them, even if that love is not reciprocated. In addition, charity is having unconditional love for someone, even when they disappoint you or hurt you. I heard a quote once that has really affected me: "True charity occurs when you stop keeping score." I love that. I am still developing this Christ-like attribute as is everyone else, but I believe my mission gave me a solid foundation of charity.

3. I have a greater eternal perspective of the Lord's plan for me. This means that I have greater trust in Heavenly Father. I know He is aware of me and my righteous desires. I know that everything in my life has a purpose, however small or insignificant it may be. I know that through change and trial, He is my constant. But believe me, I struggle with this a lot still...my "natural man" tendencies come out and I get really impatient for his plan to be revealed. However, even when I do get discouraged, in the back of my mind, I know it will all work out.

4. My love and knowledge for my Savior Jesus Christ has expanded and grown. I realize that it is through His enabling power that I can do all things. He gives me the ability to smile after a nervous breakdown, think about someone else when I want to only think of myself, and to pay that compliment to someone when I am not in the mood to be social. I know that His atonement is real in my life. My mission taught me to rely on it daily; for we could not do the work alone.


There are many more things that I can say about the mission; so many trivial and worldly lessons, like how to follow a map, when to take your shoes off in someone's home and when not to, and how to talk to someone about the Book of Mormon in the dead Canadian winter.

However, I felt like I needed to express my gratitude for serving a mission. I am so glad mission reunion could remind me! Any thoughts, feelings?? Please post!

I am so grateful that God gave me social skills!

So for those of you who know me, I am an ESL minor. And for those of you who don't know me all that well...I am an ESL minor. This means that in addition to teaching history, supposedly I will also be qualified to help English Language Learners (ELL's) to learn English. Not a difficult concept, right? Anyway, in one of my ESL classes, we have to visit an ELL's family and talk to them about their education, their beliefs of education, how they view education, do they volunteer in schools, etc, etc...So we drive down to Springville, my partner and I, and we meet up with my former teacher here at BYU, who teaches ESL in Springville , and we knock on this door of one of her students that she is concerned about. BTW, I felt like I had been transported one year ago back to the mission. The mom was really taken off guard by our visit and asked, "is my son in trouble?" We told her no, but she was kind of on edge that these random people were standing on her door step. Yeah, well, I must give myself a pat on the back because what could have been a very awkward meeting turned out to be really positive! Hooray! Not only did we find out the things we needed to for class, but we also did some BRTing (Building a relationship of trust) as well as getting the correct phone number. Background: We had to do a little bit of searching for the correct phone number. Definitely a mission deja vu incident. (I don't think I spelled that right). So we were able to ask her a bit about her background as well as find out some of the concerns she has for her son. We wouldn't have been able to find out that information if we hadn't been able to put her at ease. I find that a friendly nod, consistent eye contact, and smiles really do work! Don't believe me?? Try it!

Moral of the story: it pays to be social. Here's my theory, if you can talk to anyone, you can really become friends with anyone. If you can be friends with anyone, then you get what you want from anyone. If you can get what you want from anyone, you can manipulate anyone...oh wait...forget that last part. But seriously, it pays to have social skills. The best thing about it, you can develop them! See How to Win Friends and Influence People.

One more thing...thank goodness for serving a mission! If I hadn't had that experience, I'm not sure how I would've handled the potential awkwardness. In honor of my former mission companion, Sister Powell, "chalk one up for the mission."

And in honor of missions, here's a pic of me on the mish. I pride myself on talking to basically anyone, like awesome Sik men. Ok I'm done. Seriously.

According to an 80 year old lady I am either a laurel or a returned missionary

Last night I went to the Mormon Tabernacle choir concert at Temple Square with Shauna Seely, Katie Barrus, and Marcee Minster, my old MTC buddies and mission companions. So being the silly girls we are, it was fun to reunite, gossip about mission peeps (did I say gossip, oh I meant we talked about them), analyze our love lives, catch up with our employment/graduation plans, and you know, reminisce about old times. Being around those girls made me feel like I was in young womens as I reverted back to some of my old spastic ways. We had about a half hour till the concert started and an old lady behind us asked Marcee whether we were laurels or returned missionaries. I guess she was talking to her friend for about fifteen minutes and they couldn't figure out if we were 16 or 24...that just goes to show how mature or immature we acted! Ha! So they finally asked one of us, and we told them that we were all in the MTC together. Luckily, they believed us.

I must add that the MoTab concert was amazing. The name of the concert was "American Songbook." They sang songs like "Some Enchanted Evening," "The Impossible Dream," "Come, Come Ye Saints," "America The Beautiful," etc...it was a random concoction of music but so powerful. Although all the songs were beautiful, I felt the spirit the strongest during "Come Come Ye Saints." How many times have I listened to this song, seriously? But, it always puts things into perspective as I realize that I am not traveling across the plains right now, bearing children and stranded in blizzards. Ultimately all is well and all will be well as long as I continue to put my trust in the Lord and do His will. I am really good at these pep talks.

Bottom Line: The concert was a blast and it was spiritually uplifting. So what if my age was questioned? Bring on the immaturity! I only have so many years left that I can get away with it.

My frustration with the education program

So as happy as I am to be a future teacher, I can't help but get really annoyed with my teachers at BYU who supposedly teach us how to teach. With a few exceptions, my teachers are not the best. They are kind souls who have deep and abiding testimonies of the Gospel, which I appreciate. However, having so much love for students or for education itself does not guarantee that you are an effective teacher. As much as I love a million personal stories, an hour straight of lecture, or a teacher who shows no passion or knowledge of the subject, I just can't help but analyze people's teaching styles all the time.

This skill can be a strength, but it's also a weakness. Before I know it, I analyze teachers at church and how they present the material. Needless to say, I think I just need to pray to enjoy the lesson and not be so quick to judge. But seriously though, going back to my education teachers, I can't stay sitting for 2.5 hours! I know I've been in school for 20 years, but seriously, I do have some tendencies for ADHD or maybe I'm developing it! Bottom line: If you become a teacher, like as your profession, and you're teaching at BYU, please be good. Please.

So I created this blog...

In my IP&T class here at BYU we have an assignment to create a blog. I guess it's about time that I join the "blogging bandwagon"...we'll see how long this lasts. Who knows, I may like it a lot.

Oh, you all (I think I'm talking to no one right now because no one except me knows that I created a blog) probably think I'm obsessed with my singleness. I just couldn't think of something better for my blog title. I am sassy and I am single. I think is sounds kinda snazzy, (if I do say so myself) and if I want to continue my alliteration theme. So if anyone wants to know anything about me they can simply look at this blog and know two things about me (as stated above). Everything else will be revealed as I write. I must say I am quite the artichoke to peel! Enjoy!

By the way, I am using a lot of parentheses. I am on to something!