Just gotta keep putting myself out there

If one of my close friends or family members were to define my personality, I think they'd say, "Susie's outgoing, she's friendly, she's fun..." Maybe they'd say a few other things (she cries a lot, too sensitive for her own good, etc...). Yet, for the most part I think I'm a pretty happy-go-lucky gal. You'd think that with the personality that I have, that I would love being social and out in the "scene." However, I'm discovering as I get out older that there are few times that I really want to get out on the "scene." I've realized that I'd rather hang out with quality people and that that the quantity doesn't matter.

Tonight was one of those nights that being on the "scene" sounded exciting. My ward threw a Halloween party and I looked forward to going all week. I dressed up as a flapper (yeah history) and I thought I looked pretty cute. I feel more adjusted to my new ward now and so I felt fine going by myself as I do have some friends. So I go to the party, I dance a little, I eat a donut. I notice little clique formations on the dance floor so I think, "high school? really?"The people I know say hi to me but it's still at that awkward stage to a degree. I end up asking what their major is...again...because I can't remember what they told me the first two times that I talked to them. I try not to be disappointed when certain people aren't there and the list goes on.

So I have made a realization tonight and this is what I've discovered: half the time I put myself out there, these social events end up being a bust. T0night was kind of a bust. I didn't have a horrible time, I just didn't love it either. But then there are times that I put myself out there, and I LOVE it and I am so glad that I attended the social occasion. So, on nights like these, I tell myself that it's just one party, just one social event, and in the meantime...

I just gotta keep putting myself out there.

One day it'll pay off for good.