In His hands

Sometimes I have some pretty vivid dreams. I never share them publicly through the blogosphere but feel like I need to for this specific post. 

A few months ago I had a dream that I was spending some time with Christ. I had the impression that I shadowed him for the day though I don't recall our exact activities. However, I can easily infer that the time we spent together was time serving others. The scene I remember the most was when Christ was getting nailed to the cross. I laid down by him, ready to take part in my own crucifixion. The nails began to press into my own flesh and it hurt so much. The Savior told me that I didn't need to do this, that it wasn't my place, and that it was His burden to bear. I nodded my head in resignation and I no longer had nails driven into my hands. The next scene in my dream immediately goes to me watching the Savior on the cross. The nails have already been placed, his head is looking heavenward. I stood there crying. And that was the end of my dream.

I didn't understand the full extent of this dream until weeks later when I realized what it symbolized and what it means to me personally. I wake up and think about this dream and wonder what applications I can take from it.

Here's what I know so far: I am in His hands. In the last few months I have felt some intense loneliness, doubt, and at times despair. Luckily I come out of these moods rather quickly and move on with my day, thinking of things I'm grateful for or trying to think of others. But during these moments, I cry out to my Savior and ask that my burdens, fears, and doubts be removed from me. In those instances I feel so much peace as I know that I don't have to bear them alone. I know that he already suffered for my trials and grief and sins and I can take comfort in His enduring love for me.

I don't know how things will work out or why life hasn't turned out the way I've wanted it to, but I know I am in His hands. And when I choose to place my trust and faith in those once wounded but now perfected hands I know I will be ok. 

I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and that we are all in His loving and giving hands. 

Feeling Cute

So I just felt really cute last night before going to the temple. And since I had no man to really show off for, here I am showing off for my blog audience, however sparse you may be.

And yes, I'm growing my hair out and it's kinda fun!

I feel like a tween

This has been on my mind lately...that I feel like a tween. I know, it sounds a bit awkward, but isn't that what being a tween is all about?

First of all, I am happy to report that I am no longer 11 years old and I don't have the unattractive pre-adolescent body that I used to have.  (no offense, 11 year olds).

So what do I mean?

First, some context. I've been reflecting a lot on the fact that I have lived here for a long time! 4.5 years to be exact. When I moved to DC I was a cute 24 year old who had no idea what a real job entailed. For about 2 years I basked in the Golden Era of DC singledom. And then it got kind of old. I'm at this point now where the DC scene doesn't hold the same glow and many of my friends are moving, getting married, having babies, getting further education, etc. So, what am I left with? A bunch of 24 year olds who are jittery to live the high life of the city. I love 24 year olds, don't get me wrong, but I'm 29 and it's just a different stage of life.

So here I am caught between worlds. I go to my ward--with a bunch of youngins'--but I'm not quite old enough to be in the mid singles activities either.What's a girl to do?

Well the good news is that this tween thing is really just a first world problem. But I had to get it off my chest anyway...

Just me and my mom

These were some of my favorite books growing up!!

Mom and I have always been an item. Ever since 9th grade it was just the two of us. Even when I went off to BYU we were always paired off in one way or another (game night, dinner time, etc.), then we served missions at the same time, and now us single ladies stick together while the married folk do their thing. 

Mom came and visited me...for the second time...a few weeks back.  We enjoyed DC fall, even though DC was shutdown (including the beautiful monuments. Lame.) We made the best of things: touring Monticello and Jamestown, making cookies, making dinner for my friends, seeing the movie Austenland, showing her off at church, eating out, and touring the DC area by boat. It was a grand adventure with just the two of us. 

I love you, Mom!! Thanks for visiting me.

In front of Thomas Jefferson's Monticello

We're pretty cute.

I survived spirit week! #hallelujah

This is my first year doing student government and it feels like being a 1st year teacher all over again. :/

The biggest week of the school year is spirit week. It involves the homecoming dance, the homecoming game, the pep rally, various activities at lunchtime, and dressing up each day according to a theme. Bottom line: it's a ton of work and planning!

The fact that I survived spirit week is a complete miracle. And overall it went pretty well. Next year I would do things differently but we can say that about almost anything that you ever plan. I am so proud of my student government kids and it such a joy to work with them!

Here's some pictures to document the experience this week:

The faculty (and a student) after playing teacher vs. student dodgeball

Wacky Tacky Day with Ms. Riesner. I loved wearing the wig!

Social Studies goes Goth. I went punk rocker.

Most of the SGA before the pep rally with our snazzy SGA t-shirts

This is my school---very picturesque!

My student and I soon after he scored a touchdown and before Homecoming Court.

Just FYI...

There are some things that get annoying after hearing them for the last 10 years.  Luckily I don't hear these too often but I'm pretty sure I've heard 75% of them,

Go to this link to get a good laugh. 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ashleyperez/24-things-single-people-are-tired-of-hearing?s=mobile

Wearing lots of hats...and trying to look good wearing them.

Teaching is a profession where you wear a lot of hats. 

One moment I'm in a meeting with my coworkers and discussing literacy strategies used in the classroom, the next moment I'm scolding a kid for being late to class, then skip to 5 minutes later where I'm hugging the girl who got dumped by her 14 year old boyfriend. I'm using therapeutic strategies to get an Autistic student to mellow, planning for a homecoming dance, organizing a leadership conference, tutoring a student on the differences between the northern and southern colonies, and mentoring my student teacher on strategies used for lesson planning. 

And that's all within a matter of a few hours, people.

I don't know how I do it all, but I wear a lot of hats! Its hard to juggle my work hats with my social hats, church hats, friend hats, and the list goes on...

How do you all wear a million hats? I'm about to throw them all way!

Happy Birthday to me--from one of my students #holler

This makes me smile. As hard as the job is, it sure brings me a lot of joy. It made the 14 hour workday a little better.

It's September...

Which means...

1. School is officially in session. Talk about busy! My first thoughts are that this school year has seemed much more doable than last school year although it's extremely busy. I'm also the adviser over student government which means there's a ton of planning going on for homecoming. It seems like summer never even happened now that we are back in full swing, but it's also nice to be back as crazy as my schedule is.

2. It's almost the fall. I've been dying to break out my sweaters and scarves but have been holding out cause its still too warm. I'm excited, however, for the change of season and the leaves turning. I'm tired of humidity and ready for some chill in the air. I feel like some good things are coming!

3. It was my birthday! I'm another year older (29) and a bit wiser. It was a pretty good day although it was back to school night and I had to work until 9pm. However my students made it worthwhile and fun as well as my colleagues and friends. Last night we celebrated by doing some Korean karaeoke. It was epic, to say the least.

4. Increased socializing. New people are moving in and people are back in the area after a busy summer. It's great to catch up with friends and meet new ones. Last weekend was our 3rd annual ward retreat up in PA. I spent 2 days camping in the woods with fellow colonialites sitting around a campfire, hiking, playing frisbee, and playing cards. Although I feel like I am growing out of a lot of these activities, I am also grateful for the many amazing people in my life. It's good to be with people and learn from them.

Life is good. It's busy, but good. And , it's September.

What a summer!

Tomorrow it's coming to a close as I go back to work but I just have this overwhelming sense of gratitude for all my many summer opportunities. Here are a few pictures of the things I've done.

Pittsburgh ain't the pits after all...

Who wants to go to Pittsburgh? Well I sure didn't...but there's something called being spontaneous...something that I'm not super good at because I  like to mentally prepare myself for trips. Any who, I called on one of my favorite pals, S-dog and we rocked a road trip pretty last minute; first to Falling water in PA, which is a fancy house designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. Cool house and beautiful venue, but I'm way more interested in historical homes, just my taste.

Then we decided to go to Pittsburgh. After seeing a Pirates game, we chilled at the hotel and the next morning we went on a tram up Mt. Washington, and then headed to a market where I ate some perogies. It was grand. And we were on our own schedule and felt like we could do as much or as little as we wanted. Just how I like it. So then we left...

The biggest realization? Well, Pittsburgh is super pretty. I was surprised. But hey, what other assumption do you make when it's a steel town...?

S-dog and I

Pirates stadium. Look at that view!

Another great view of the city from Mt. Washington. I'm squinting.

Perogies! Brought me back to my time in Canada!

TREKing it.

I am so behind with posting. There's something about summer vacation that makes you NOT get anything done. You think you'll be productive but in the end you just do nothing...anyway, I am digressing from my real purpose with this blog post.

About 3 weeks ago I had the opportunity to do pioneer trek with the my stake. For those of you who don't know what that means, we reenact our early Mormon heritage by pulling handcarts and wearing pioneer clothes. Sounds crazy? Sure, just a bit. But wow, did my appreciation grow for my Mormon ancestors who traveled thousands of miles to arrive in Utah.

I did this mostly because I never did it as a youth and I wanted the experience of roughing it in nature and pulling a handcart. It seemed kind of romantic at the time, but in all honesty, the experience was difficult. Especially since that same weekend DC decided to have a humongous heat wave. So it ended up that I wore pioneer clothing, in open fields, pulling a handcart, with nasty humidity, AND in heat that was recorded at a 124 degree heat index. Yes, I was absolutely disgusting; sweating like crazy and dirty like no other. Hubba-hubba.

However, we made the best of things. The first day I had no "Pa" (aka, a guy that is assigned to head up my group with me. See I was "Ma" and he was "Pa" and we had about 9 kiddos with us). So while "Pa" was trying to get a flight back to DC, the kiddos and I pulled the hand cart and sweated. like crazy. Have I mentioned that I was really sweaty?'Cause I was...and it was nasty and I was so exhausted.

Pa eventually did come, and the last 2 days were a breeze compared to the first, but we all managed to have a good time, to get along, cook with a Dutch oven, participate in pioneer activities and games (like, making corn husk dolls, archery, learning the polka, cutting some wood, and making some taffy). I had a blast shaking it at the dance Friday night with sweaty hair plastered to my face as I wore my bonnet and danced around in my pioneer clothing. What a sight we were!

Most importantly though, the kids had some great spiritual experiences and learned what hard work really is. One of my kids told me that she "has never worked so hard in her life." Kind of sad, but kind of funny too. They were a bit dramatic but we had a great time together and my "kids" were good sports overall.

Although I sounds like I'm wining, I'm glad I did it. I definitely had some great insights and reflected on what's really important in life. I love indoor plumbing, btw...

Here are some pics, not too many because honestly--I just wanted to survive. So taking pictures was not my top priority and I looked disgusting so there's really none of me...and that was on purpose. Yowza.

The kiddos collapsing in our hut after a long day of pulling our handcart. Luckily one of my "kids" created our shelter with a few other resourceful young men and my pal, Ryan. Thank goodness for men!

Here is our whole family. Pa included on the right :)

Pushing the carts.

River crossing. After the boys crossed with the handcart they came back for the women.

Our last day on trek. Going home. Notice the portal-poddies in the back. Note: I never want to go in one again. Talk about, eeew. Can you tell that I'm just not a natural camper? :/

Here's just a glimpse of our experience. This wasn't even the worst of it, but you get the idea!

Bottom line? Great experience. So glad I did it. Don't want to do it again.

I heart my roommates--2013 version.

I've had many different roommates in my life and honestly I've had a lot of good ones. One thing that I realize as I'm getting older is that the roommates I've had over the years have truly served a specific purpose for me at that specific time. Whether it was the pre-mission years, post mission years, companions on the mission, London study abroad peeps, and the myriad of DC roommates I've had, all I can say is that these individuals have helped me to become the person that I am today. Thank you!

There is no doubt in my mind that my current roommates have a specific purpose in my life now. Obviously all of us would prefer to have a man for a roommate, but we all make the best of things. These ladies are fun, mature, wise, beautiful, spiritual, loyal, sensitive, caring, considerate, easy to talk to, and embody some serious Christ-like qualities. I am seriously so blessed!!!!! (Ok, can you tell that I have some serious "I am grateful" realizations this evening?)

Anyway, I just want to give a shout out to Michele, Allison and Melissa. Thank you for your strong examples, being there for me, giving me the courage to be better, and ultimately for influencing the woman I want to become. Loves! 

Seriously, amazing ladies.

The Fab 5

Ok, so pictured here we're the Fab 4, but imagine Dustin is here too.  

It's not everyday that you get to be in the same ward as 4 other former CTWMers (aka former missionaries that I served with in Canada on my LDS mission). But here we are saying goodbye to Eric as he ventures back west. 

I'm just going to be nostalgic for a sec: I loved my mission and I'm so glad I served one. 6 years later and I still get teary thinking about it. I have been greatly blessed. 

Eric, me, Blaze, and Robbie. CTWM forever.

A history teacher's dream come true--Peru 2013

If someone had told me 4 years ago that I would have found myself in Peru in 2013 I would have scoffed at them. Mostly because I have always viewed myself as a Europe girl-- obsessed with Jane Austen and all other BBC classics. And lets be honest, I barely even knew that Peru was in South America at that point in my life...(insert: "And you teach WORLD history?!?!" comment here...I promise I know my countries much better now!)

However, teaching world history to 9th grade students the last 3 years has rubbed off on me. Teaching the unit about Mesoamerican and Andean civilizations and ultimately how they have thrived has given me a newfound appreciation and desire to know more about them. Thus, the Machu Picchu obsession. And, I"ll admit, I wanted to get an iconic picture too. See below...

The trip was divided into 2 parts--the touristy Inca part and the cultural immersion part. We spent about 3 days touring various Inca sites and I definitely asked questions. Of course, the pinnacle part of the trip was Machu Picchu, the ultimate Inca University. It was fun for me to connect the dots and to see the puzzle pieces coming together. I also loved understanding the context of the Inca civilization and then understanding the demise of the Incas due to the Spanish conquistadors.

The second half was more of the cultural immersion aspect of the trip; touring lake Titicaca and spending a night with a host family. We ate their food, spoke limited Spanish with them, dressed in their traditional garb, danced with them and played some soccer with them as well. It gave me the realization-again-that these people may have little but they have big hearts. I was in awe of their simple, yet fulfilling life. I marvelled at the traditions they kept 500 years later. I was astounded by their ability to adapt, and to make use of their resources. Truly, I felt so humbled and grateful. Many of them had never been off the island, out of the major city (Puno), or out of Peru. Amazingly enough we met some other LDS people on the floating island of Uros. The gospel of Jesus Christ resonates into every home; whether in Suburbia, America or a floating island made of reeds in Lake Titicaca. So incredible! 

I could go on and on, but I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. I am so grateful for my opportunities to travel and explore new cultures and people. This was a history teacher's dream come true but also any normal person who yearns to travel and reflect on who they are, what they desire and what they are grateful for. I am blessed. Period. 

Airplane fun with photo booth--had to get some crazy pics in there

Layover fun with photo booth

flexing our muscles at the Qenqo Tomb in Cusco

At the Saksaywaman site overlooking the city of Cusco

Qorikancha temple/Cathedral. The Incas originally built this site and when the conquistadors came they destroyed the idols but then built a cathedral on top of it--go figure

A cool sign on our way to the Sacred Valley

Inca terraces, man were they resourceful!

Cute Inca girls. Totally paid 2 soles for this picture. The baby llama was worth it.

Eat, drink, and be merry...especially with Inca Kola. (not my favorite)

At the top of one of the Inca ruins, Ollantaytambo. My hair got windified...

Mmmm...Alpaca meat and potatoes. Quite good!

I got my iconic picture!

With the groupies and Machu Picchu.

Strutting my stuff within the ruins..you know, looking earthy.

Another view of Machu Picchu...next to the ceremonial center

Just wanted to show off my backside :) Machu Picchu below

Just one more time...it's AMAZING!

Inca temple ruin. After Machu Picchu, all other Inca ruins seemed obsolete.

Oh hey there llama! Or alpaca, can't remember which one. But I ate one of you a few nights ago...

High altitude. It was ridiculous.

Uros island, or the floating islands. And a tour boat. Typical.

She dressed me up in her clothes and then we figured out she was LDS. Talk about cool!

Kimberly and I in our cool Peruvian get-up!

Reed boat. It was awesome

Hard to row! I was laughing way too hard

Lake Titicaca from Amantani island

Played some soccer over the lake. The altitude about killed me!

Getting dressed in different Peruvian garb. Notice the clothes are different because we were on a different island!

With Estelle, our host sister

Our host family, Estelle, Augustine, and Julia. SWEETHEARTS!

Lake Titicaca at 8am

Oh hey!

best trout I've ever had--from Lake Titicaca

Happily about to devour a brownie and Argentine hot chocolate after touring the cacao museum and factory in Cusco

4th of July in Cusco!

Thought it was pretty cool that I've been to ALL of those places. I am srsly the best little traveler.