Check out my new playlist

So now I have a playlist on my blog. I could only think of three songs that I really wanted to share, but I'm sure I'll keep adding more as I become more educated about music. I hope you enjoy!

Oh, and I hope you're all enjoying my seasonal blog backgrounds. Until I can figure out a background that I actually like, I will probably be changing it up. I think you'll deal with these changes fine. You can do it.

Abundant--not scarcity-- living.

A week ago in class I was talking to one of my fellow classmates and we talked about our lives, our worries, etc...(I should clarify that this was after class was over). Anyway, she brought up a really good point about life. She told me that she is trying to look at life abundantly rather than scarcely. It's so easy for us to get caught up in "scarcity living, " for example, "I don't have a nice car, I don't have great health, I don't have enough money, I don't have the body, and I don't have a man (yep, that's me)."

We could go off about all the things we don't have. However, she said that as she has tried to look at life abundantly, she has found many more blessings. She has learned to dwell on the positives and not on the negatives. This topic has been discussed many times. Heck, wasn't it years ago that Oprah said that she writes in a gratitude journal??? I really like this way of thinking.

I have been so blessed in my life, truly I have. However it seems when I lack a few things, I dwell on those few things I don't have. Luckily, Heavenly Father is there to give me the necessary slap in the face (metaphorically speaking) when I forget all that I have been blessed with this year.

So I wanted to publicly announce my gratitude by mentioning a few people that I am grateful for in my life:

Dad: for his life and legacy. For his righteousness and gospel insights. For his ability to grow stronger in times of trial and tribulation.
Mom: for always being a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. She may hobble around now, but she puts a smile on her face and has an optimistic attitude.
Kathryn: for being my cheerleader, telling me that I can do hard things with my life. She is proactive herself and so I have tried taking up that attitude and making the most with my life.
Mark: for also being an example of proactivity. For giving me sound advice and making me feel like I am worth a million dollars. (I am his favorite sister-in-law you see....shhhhh)
Julie: for being so kind-hearted and supportive of my life. She is an example of trust and compassion. Plus, she'll shimmy with me when the right song comes on. Baby!
Sam: for always challenging my opinion and perspective, forcing me to create my own. For being an example of righteousness. For laughing at my ridiculous jokes...or life...
Chrissie: for being a Barbara Walters to me. I know I can confide in her when I need a friend. She is personable, caring, and kind. Plus, she will be silly with me anytime!
Scott: for being so good. When I think of Scott, I think of goodness. For his calming nature. I know I am always welcome at their house and he likes it when I'm there.
John: For his witty sense of humor and his desire to know about my life. I know I can laugh with him about silly things. For his desire to be in touch with everyone. For his gentleness...
Karla: For her knowledge of all of the cheesy romances out there! She is my pride and prejudice guru. She is also very personable and I enjoy talking to her.
Stephen: For his ability to follow the spirit. For the fact that I can tell him about spiritual things and he'll get it. For his validation of me and support in my life.
Jenny: For her outspoken nature that helps me to be more courageous. She is one of my cheerleaders and I appreciate her interest and care in my life.
For all my nieces and nephews: For making me feel like the coolest aunt ever even if I don't always play with you. For your hugs, for your compliments. For teaching me essential truths and reminding me of my greater purpose that lies ahead.
Zandy: for making me feel like the most beautiful person in the world and for constantly giving me love and support.
Diane: for her ability to make me laugh about random things. For being my teaching confidante, a constant friend, and another single sympathizer.
Erin: for being my bestie this semester. For letting me show my my true colors immediately. For watching every sappy movie with me that we own.
Satyra: for laughing at my jokes, telling me that I'm pretty when she's the gorgeous one, for being her sweet self and then stealing all the boys. :)
Adrienne: for our discussions about the gospel, for our united hatred of pets, for emptying the dishwasher and loading it all the time.
Ashley: for being my best friend. For teaching me about charity. For making fun of quills and swords peeps on campus.
Shauna: for letting me cry in front of her, for giving me a benefit of a doubt, for being able to carry on a very spiritual then a very silly conversation with her.
Marcee: for also letting me cry, for being my dancing buddy, for being really excited about things, for involving me in her life.
Samuel: for writing me love notes on gmail, for being a worthy priesthood holder, for thinking I'm cool after months of not liking me that much.
Carolyn: for being someone that I can confide in, for drinking hot chocolate at her house, for being so strong and an example to me.
Kathleen: for being the only friend from high school that I really talk to, for supporting me in whatever I do, for laughing at my not-so-funny jokes. For always being there.
Stacia: for being someone who believes in me and who thinks I'm amazing. For being a wonderful listening ear and a true friend.
Joanna: for letting me spill my deep emotions to her, for being so understanding, for loving me even when I am spastic, for being a constant friend.

There are many people that I left out so if you're reading this and I didn't mention you, don't feel bad! These are people that came to my mind but there are many many more out there who have made a huge impact on me this year that I didn't even mention.

Above all, I am grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am grateful for his sacrifice that is eternal. He knows me the best. He is my friend and I strive to show him my appreciation by serving him.

May we all remember that we have abundant lives this Thanksgiving. It's all a matter of how we look at it...

P.S. I know this is a random pic, but I kinda like it. The caption for the photo is "gratitude rocks." Knee slapper, I know.

Call me cliche but I think I have a crush on Edward...

I would never call myself obsessed with the Twilight series by any means. Sure, I've read them all, but mostly I've skimmed through the last two books. I never got too into the movie, well until I met Erin anyway. My roommate, Erin, is pretty obsessed. She's been religiously watching the trailer since it appeared on you tube or any internet website. As the premier of the movie got closer, I became more and more excited. I had no expectations, I knew it would be cheesy, and I do think Bella is pretty annoying. However, as I watched the movie I couldn't help it...

I have a crush on Edward!

I can't explain it, but the duo has amazing chemistry. And lets face it, Edward is gorgeous and Rob Patterson pulls off the American accent very well. I recommend the movie to all of those who are not ashamed of some cheesiness in their life. If you enjoy Pride and Prejudice, Hallmark Hall of Fame movies, The Work and the Glory, and Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, then chances are you will love Twilight. If you fit that description, you go to movies mostly for entertainment purposes rather than analyzing the heck out of the acting and the filming. Yep, that's me...I'll admit it.

I haven't had such a movie crush since I was obsessed with Leonardo DiCaprio in 7th grade when Titanic came out onto the big screen. I saw that movie 5 times in the theater. Yeah, ridiculous.

Twilight may come close to beating that record...

http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj117/eternalpasion/other%20twilight%20graphics/twilight_wallpaper003.png

I have some pretty sweet jobs.

A lot of people discourage students who work while in college. However, as much as it would be nice not to have to work sometimes, I am really grateful that I do work. Besides the fact that I have an income (you know at a whopping 8 bucks/hour...thanks BYU), which helps me pay for things, I must say that I have some pretty sweet jobs.

Let me explain. Right now I have 2 jobs. I work at the International Studies Program Office in the Kennedy Center and I also work at the Special Collections in the Harold B. Lee Library. Allow me to explain what I do at work (Besides all of the duties that I have to do which are boring and you don't need to know about nor do you care):

The ISP Office:

• I eat candy and order candy for the internship mug
  
• I make beautiful decorations for holidays and birthdays with my coworker, Carrie.
• I talk to the facilitators about my social life while they eat candy. Note: facilitators help students apply for international programs, etc...
• I talk to Charisse, my coworker, about Jane Austen movies that I love and funny boy stories.
• I get to deliver balloons and learn how to work an old-school popcorn machine maker.
  
• I talk to Nancy and all the other travel ladies about my future life's decisions. She reassures me that my life will work out. Thanks Nancy!
• Sometimes I get to take field trips to the BYU bookstore to buy things for the office with the department card. I love manilla folders.
• I flirt with good-looking boys who ask me about ISP programs.
  

The Special Collections:

• I get to listen to my boss, Russ, whistle to some folk tunes.
  
• I tease my boss, Russ, about how I am his favorite. He usually agrees with me.
• I sometimes get to take field trips to the candy counter at the BYU bookstore where we buy chocolate with the big tips that patrons give us for working so hard.
• I eat bagels left over from the seminar room.
• When Russ blasts his music, my coworkers and I dance (much to the chagrin of my supervisor, Irene).
  
• I get to see cool things contained in the Special Collections: Jimmy Stewart's accordion, the original score for "Gone with the Wind," a letter written by Abraham Lincoln, a certificate signed by George Washington, the original Book of Mormon, the Oscar for the musical, "Camelot," mini books, a sword, a helmet, Kirtland bank notes signed by Joseph Smith, and the list goes on....
• My coworkers think I'm funny and that makes me happy.
  
• I flirt with good-looking boys who need help finding a book or a call number
  

These are the advantages of working at these jobs...obviously I actually do my work that I am supposed to. Although past job opportunities haven't worked out for me, these have really fit my needs and I have made a lot of friends. God knows what He's doing.

Oh...and I get to go to 2 Christmas parties. How sweet is that??

Christ is my relief pitcher and He has a 100% winning streak

One thing that has been constant about my college experience is that it's simply transient. Every year has been different: roommates, friends, callings, boys I've liked, classes, experiences...and the list goes on. I have realized that change is really difficult for me. Although I do thrive from it, the initial experience is bitter. It's after the change has taken place that I see the fruits of change and I am grateful for it.

With all of this change, it can be difficult to find some sort of constant influence in my life. The friends that I thought would always be around have since come and gone (though a choice few have stuck around). However, as much as they were constant at one point in my life, many are no longer my trusted confidantes (not because I don't want them to be but because of circumstances). My family is an exception to this. They have been a steady influence in my life. They have seen me through the dark ages of preteen years, through the obnoxious boy crazy years, to the insecure college student, and through to the amazing RM that I am now (right guys? I am being sarcastic) However, although they are constant, they still have their own lives and I do not expect them to be at my beg and call.

In May I had a breakdown. The constancy of friends that I thought I secured for myself dwindled and I suddenly felt that I had no one that I could really rely on anymore. Needless to say it was difficult and I felt very alone. One day during sacrament meeting I had this epiphany about change and consistency. I don't watch much baseball, but I suddenly thought of Christ as my relief pitcher. I realized that all of us are playing in this game of life and we try so hard to do it ourselves. We try hard to be a good people, to perform our callings, to do well in our professions, to be loving family members and friends. But lets face it...we fail everyday at doing things perfectly. We always come up short. Oftentimes when we come up short, we naturally want to depend on these good friends or family members to get us through the trials of life. However, I have learned and I am still learning that as great as these external people can be in my life, they cannot always be there for me 100% of the time. They will fail my expectations, they will move away, they will get married, they will die, etc...

And then it hit me...

Jesus Christ is the true constant that saves me daily from my shortcomings and faults. It is Him that will relieve me when I simply want to throw in the towel. Sometimes this relief comes in the 9th inning of my day. Sometimes it's the 7th or the 5th, maybe even the 1st. Regardless, Christ is the only person in my life that is constantly there for me. Others may disappoint, but not Jesus Christ. He has a 100% winning streak. He never lets me down...ever. Interestingly enough, I often disappoint Him. I will not always stay constant in my dedication to Him and I can't because I am flawed. But no matter how many times I disappoint Him, He never disappoints me. This is the beauty of the atonement.

Change is constant in all of our lives. As we face hard times and move from one stage to the next, we must remember that we cannot trust in the arm of flesh for a steadying influence (we should be able to put our trust in our spouse, yet they will still come up short); instead it is Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world, who is the anchor, who is steadfast, who is the north star, and who is the one that succors us in our time of need.

Jesus Christ is my relief pitcher and He has a 100% winning streak. No one else can do that for me; only Him.

Sometimes you just want your mom

So my mom is currently in the Middle East...yeah, lets hope she doesn't get bombed over there. I've known about this trip for a while, 6 months at least. She's been gone like 11 days so far. She doesn't come home till next Tuesday.

Tangent for a second...I am 24 and I served a mission where I didn't see my mom for 1.5 years and I only talked to her 3 times during those 19 months. Okay, now back to what I was saying...

Anyway, I really miss my mom. More so than I ever thought. Its not so much that I haven't seen her but it's more that I don't have her available to me at the click of a button. My mom knows all the little things about my life and she cares about the obscure details. I tell her everything. Its nights like these where I want to talk to my mom, cry, tell her everything that's wrong in my life and how I feel complete and utter despair. Although she doesn't have all the answers and I know things won't change at the snap of my fingers, her words bring comfort to me.

So mom, I hope you know that your trip has made me appreciate you more. Thanks for being my shoulder to cry on, my friend, my empathizer. I feel like it should be Mother's Day. Anyway, I love you! Can't wait till you're back in the US of A.

hugs and hugs.

Jamara, the UNICEF kid

Back in September I ran into one of my old buddies from London. He works for UNICEF and gave me a stick with a huge picture of an African-American kid plastered onto it. Right after I received this kid I took it home and hid it underneath Erin's comforter. She freaked out the first time she saw it. Now it's kind of a joke. We hide it different places just for fun. We named him Jamara and we often call him the UNICEF kid.

This is Jamara...and me.

We've hid him in places like the closet...

We've found Jamara rummaging through our dirty laundry (that's Erin's, not mine:)

and resting on Erin's pillow

The fun part is that we don't know where or when Jamara will pop up next! Gotta love Jamara.

another girl's night come and gone.

I see a trend in my social life. No, it's not an influx of boys or a million parties that have the best scene in Provo. No, its not homecoming, ice cream, movie night, games, t-peeing or Chinese fire drill.

What is it you might ask??

Girl's Night.

How many of these events have I been invited to in my life? Millions. "Suz, we're having girl's night, you should come...we're painting nails...we're watching a movie...we're doing makeup...we're playing truth or dare (no sticker pimples involved)." And the list goes on.

I have nothing against girl's night. I appreciate the facebook invites, the enrichment activities, the texts and the mere inclusion for that matter. I love girls, they are my buddies.

However, I just wonder one thing:

Can I ever have a boy's night? You know where I get asked out on a date? Or where I watch a flag football game and bond with the athletes over some hot chocolate afterwards? Or even just a "lets go see a dollar movie!" Heck, I wouldn't care if we saw his grandma!

A boy's night would be nice sometime. I'd like a little testosterone.


Disclaimer: I'm not trying to sound negative, I just find it humorous.

Blessed, Blessed Chiropractor

So after a year of having back pain, I finally decided to bite the bullet and go to the chiropractor. As a college student, I don't have all the money in the world to just spend $30/appointment on chiropractic help. However, today was the day that my back would change for the better. It's amazing how a 30 minute appointment can do wonders! So similar to Alma 34:32 that we should not procrastinate the day of our repentance, I hereby declare that I should not ever procrastinate a day at the chiropractor again! Having back pain? Go see a chiropractor.

P.S. This is not chiropractor related, but go Prop 8! Boo yah!

Image: http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/dcr0337l.jpg

FACT: God truly does direct our life.

Without going into details, I found out some news yesterday that confirmed a decision I made months and months ago. Back in February I received a prompting from the Holy Ghost that seemed ridiculous. To my natural eyes, this did not make any sense to me whatsoever. I was comfortable in my current situation and the idea of change did not appeal to me. However, the prompting was so strong that I literally felt sick to my stomach because I could not accept it. However, once I acknowledged it and said, "Fine, I'll do it" (yes, I was still reluctant), it was like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. That decision I made was finally put into action in September and since then, I've been content with this decision, but I had not fully realized the reasoning for it. Today I do not know the full implications of this decision, but I know more now than I did a few weeks ago as to why this decision was so good for me to make.

To sum up, I know that Heavenly Father is in charge. He knows what things we need to do to be happy. He directs our lives and will guide us in the right direction if we are willing to follow His will for each of us.