Holding out for my modern-day Colonel Brandon

If you haven't seen the movie or read the book Sense and Sensibility you are missing out!(That includes you, Amber).

Not only is Jane Austen a genius of a writer, but the movie/book is almost a window to my heart.


Lets have a recap shall we? I won't get into too many details, don't you worry. Marianne and Elinor Dashwood are sisters. Marianne is the middle daughter and she is very romantic. Elinor is the oldest and is very practical. Marianne falls madly in love with John Willoughby. He's young, dashing, charming and all of those other British adjectives. Marianne ignores the love-struck Colonel Brandon who is not as handsome or dashing, but he is good, kind, and a little old.

As the story goes, we learn that John Willoughby is a scoundrel. Although he is in love with Marianne Dashwood he has to marry some rich chick because he lost his inheritance. Marianne is crushed, of course. However, time does heal her wound and she rediscovers Colonel Brandon. Ahhh...and then she falls in love with him for the good, loyal, gentle and constant man he is.

So, I am a little biased towards Colonel Brandon, if you couldn't tell. But I think my bias stems from knowing too many John Willoughbys. No, none of these "Johns" have asked me to marry them and then left me for some richie rich. However, I think that I often get caught in the Willoughby trap where I meet someone who is attentive and nice and makes me feel good about myself. In the end I find myself feeling second best, ignored, and not really cared for in the way that I deserve (and I have vented about this before).

I want someone who is loyal and loves me best. I want someone who notices the things I do and the things I say. I want someone like Moroni (as described in Alma 48...I know, I can't deny my Moroni crush). I want someone to remember what I tell them, to pick me up when I fall (metaphorically speaking...and literally). I want someone who cares for me. I want someone who will do anything for me and for anyone else because he is just that nice.

Maybe I am too idealistic. Who knows, you married people may be gawking and laughing at this very honest post at this moment. But I know someone like that exists...maybe he doesn't have the checklist but he will come close I think. I realize that I too have to be willing to open my heart to someone like that even if, at first, he is not my supposed ideal.

What I am trying to say is that I am not willing to settle for any John Willoughby's in disguise. No, no. I am holding out for my modern-day Colonel Brandon. I deserve it. I deserve someone that good...wow...this is a true confession of singlehood.

Though I do not know where he is or who he is or when I will meet him, the wait will be worth it.

Any takers?

Susie+Joanna=BFF4ever

Doesn't my title look like something you would've written in a junior high yearbook? Even though it looks silly, it really demonstrates my feelings toward my friend, Joanna. Do you feel a confession of love coming on? I do...

Anyway, Joanna and I have known each other since birth. She's been one of those friends that I have ALWAYS been able to count on and I appreciate her so much for her consistency!

She now lives in Texas and I was able to see her today with her cute baby, Eli, and her cute husband, Jake. ;)

Though we spent just a few short hours together, I am reminded of why I love Joanna.

1. She is a great listener and knows how to ask questions!
2. She speaks highly of others and sees the good in people.
3. She is down-to-earth and easy-going.
4. I am not embarrassed to cry in front of her. Trust me, it has happened too many times.
5. She is loyal, responsible, and constant.
6. She has always been up for anything, especially long walks in Piedmont or Provo. She was also willing to do lip syncs with me for the ward talent show! Bless her soul.
7. She values what is most important in life: God, family, friends.
8. She is optimistic and cheerful.
9. I feel valued and validated when I am around her. In Kathryn's words, she is on my "safe list."
10. She is a beautiful and talented woman; yet is very humble.

Here are a couple pictures for your enjoyment...

Look at this cutie...I guess you can also call me a cutie too. :0)

Eli and pseudo "Aunt" Susie


Jake, Joanna and Eli. Oh, and let me put in a plug for Jake. He is one great guy! Good pickin' Jo!


Joanna and I. Sexy single. Sexy mama.

Thank goodness for awesome friends. I would be miserable without them.

Thanks for visiting Joanna!

Aunt Susie

This past week I went to Las Vegas and Phoenix to visit my brothers and their families. Since they have younger kids I was able to be really hands on with the kiddos and practice my mommy-to-be skills (no, I am not expecting).

First stop: Las Vegas. I didn't even come close to the strip. Not terribly family friendly.

Evan. Beautiful blue eyes.
Lizzy. Sporting her sassyness, just like her aunt.

Charlotte. Fearful of someone changing her diaper. I was the diaper attacker on many occassions.

We then met up with the Phoenix kids. We headed to the aquarium in some casino. Are you surprised? I'm not, it's Vegas. People live in Casinos besides house fish in them.


David. This is an awesome picture, if I say so myself!

Jenny and Kassie. Don't worry, Jenny, I took care of it. ;)

This aquarium was mermaid themed, hence many mermaid paintings.

Happy family. Don't we look the part? Could I pull off 5 kids under 5 and a husband? I guess I could. Luckily this is my brother, John, and these are not my children. Save that for a later day.


Ahh...precious.We then went into a Cabella-like store which was decorated with stuffed or fake deer and other animals. I was never meant to be a hunter.

And since we didn't have any serious outdoor adventures, we pretended to be cool. I think I did a good job of it. Vroom.

Stephen was a whimp and couldn't even get on! Haha. (Nelson voice)


Lizzy could pass as a 4 -wheelin barbie!

Stop 2: Arizona. I drove back to AZ with Jenny and Steve and we passed this cool bridge right by the Hoover Dam. My dad would've loved to watch the construction on this bad boy.


Arizona wouldn't be the same without a Mobil gas station. I had to capture it.

I got to see my cousin, Melanie too! I haven't seen her in almost 5 years and she has 3 kids. She does not waste time. You go girl.


Nor did I waste time sticking my tongue out at her with babe in arms. Man, I'm good. Kassie doesn't know what's going on.

My uncle Bill and aunt Kathy. So fun to see them!


Davey. Master hider and seeker. He does both simultaneously. Ask him for his secrets.

Amy. Seductress?? Lets hope not.


I wanted a picture with David and Amy but they refused to sit on my lap...as if. This is the best I got.
And yes, my 3 year old niece is capable of taking a picture with her mom's phone. Unbelievable.

I love being an aunt and just an aunt for now...

The rear view mirror may kill you

Yah, I know this sounds harsh and believe me people, I am not an advocate of death.

Allow me to explain...

I am one of those drivers that can sometimes get paranoid that a cop is behind me. I'm not one for speeding and I'm usually pretty good at following all the rules of driving. However, the mere idea of a cop pulling me over freaks me out, so sometimes I get super-duper paranoid and I look at my rear view mirror just to make sure that no copper is following me.

What results? An obsession with what's behind me and not what's in front of me. I get so caught up with the cars behind me and making sure that a white car is not a cop car that I am not focusing on the cars next to me and the cars in front of me. In other words, if I am not careful I could get seriously hurt by not focusing on what's ahead of me. Maybe I'll rear-end someone or I won't see a car changing lanes. Many things could happen.

Maybe you can see where I'm going with this (and if you know me well, a Gospel connection is definitely coming).

I think that I sometimes get so caught up with my past experiences that I do not focus on the present nor do I look to the future. President Monson once said something to the affect that we must learn from the past which I agree whole-heartedly with; but we shouldn't revel in it or focus all of our energies on what once was.

I have to remember this. I have had some amazing experiences in the past: NYC, London, Toronto, DC, BYU, Disney World, trips to Cali and the list goes on. I have had some wonderful friends too...and some of those friends I don't talk to anymore. As sad as it can be to move on with life, it's a must. I have to look to my future. If I only focus on the past experiences, past friends, past feelings, and past sins it may hinder my growth or it may "kill" me, spiritually speaking.

So now is the time for me to enjoy the ride of my life. Sure, I am still freaking out about what I'm doing with my life but I can't keep looking back in order to find happiness in the present.

Happiness lies on the road ahead of me too.

p.s. I am still a good driver. Please do not worry.

(I found this on google images, crazy eh?)

I lived in London a long time ago, it is true...

Lived there and loved there with people I know...

In the Fall of 2005 I embarked on a wonderful adventure: London.

That city never ceases to amaze me. Not only is it a beautiful, heartwarming and exciting place to visit, but it was also a place where I made lovely friends and had delightful experiences (very British adjectives).

I want to share my joy of London with you, even though it was 3.5 years ago! :(

Tea anyone? Herbal that is...
Mount St. Michael
Bath
I was really into running when I lived there and I ran a 5k!
"Sleeping" at Notting Hill Gate tube stop at 3am. We got up that early to get tickets to see Ewan McGregor in Guys and Dolls.
Tower Bridge
Stonehenge
Eating apples at Hampton CourtThe London Eye!
Big Ben, after a nice runDover CastleA bear kissing a Baer at Tower of London...muhahaha.Kew Gardens

So that brings us to the present...Today I went out to lunch with some friends from London. They are incredible people who inspire me to be better and who live the Gospel fully. I will forever be grateful that I spent a semester in London, and not just for the chocolate. Cheers to old friends! I love you as much as I love London. Sappy.

Past reunions...
Today's reunion...Go to London! You may never know how much it will change your life as it did mine...

I don't know

I don't know what my plans are this summer (besides 4 EFY sessions, a trip to Vegas/Arizona, and applying for jobs like crazy).

I don't know what school I will teach at, junior high or high school.

I don't know if I will even get to teach this fall, due to economic uncertainty.

I don't know if I will stay in Utah or go back to DC (I am leaning towards DC but can't say for sure).

I don't know when/if I will get a masters degree. Though I'm thinking if I did, it would be in administration.

I don't know when I will get married (this one has been the great unsolved mystery for years now).

I just don't know.

So if you have questions about any of the following things the answer is...

Yep, you guessed it.

I don't know.

(this explains everything that is going through my head at the moment)