I've been the good guy (girl)

Ready for a very honest blog post?

Here I come...

This fall has been challenging for a variety of reasons. If I had to give a theme for this fall it would be something like..."where the heck are the fruits of my labor?" and/or "I've been the good guy!"

Let me provide some context with that last statement. Anyone remember the classic LDS movie, "Prodigal Son?"
Obviously the late 80s/early 90s garb is to die for but besides that the movie has a good message. Assuming all of you know the story of the Prodigal Son I won't delve into details but the movie has some stellar points.

The one I'm talking about is the scene where the "righteous" brother pounds the piano keys and yells to his wife several times, "I've been the good guy! I've been the good guy!!!" this was the reaction to the younger, prodigal son getting all of this attention from family and friends after repenting.

Do you ever feel like you're the older brother? Wanting to pound the keys of your own metaphorical life and shout to the heavens: "I've been the good guy or the good girl?"

This fall I have. Sometimes I don't understand it. How, when you feel like you've always strived to do the right thing and you are not getting the praise, the validation, the fruits of your labor, or the blessings that you desire?

I know all of the answers you could throw at me. The talks, the scriptures, the counsel. I've been studying it a lot as this has been on my mind. My answer or my peace of mind has yet to come but I am searching,

I know this sounds like a faithless post but it's more just a place to vent. This sentiment, I know, can translate in any stage of life or circumstance. I think we all have felt this way before and I am not alone.

I know obedience produces blessings and I know that God's plan for us is greater than our own. I know that happiness is not circumstantial but based on our attitude and perspective. But sometimes I am tired of being the "Good Girl."

Thoughts? I welcome them...