A few months ago I had a dream that I was spending some time with Christ. I had the impression that I shadowed him for the day though I don't recall our exact activities. However, I can easily infer that the time we spent together was time serving others. The scene I remember the most was when Christ was getting nailed to the cross. I laid down by him, ready to take part in my own crucifixion. The nails began to press into my own flesh and it hurt so much. The Savior told me that I didn't need to do this, that it wasn't my place, and that it was His burden to bear. I nodded my head in resignation and I no longer had nails driven into my hands. The next scene in my dream immediately goes to me watching the Savior on the cross. The nails have already been placed, his head is looking heavenward. I stood there crying. And that was the end of my dream.
I didn't understand the full extent of this dream until weeks later when I realized what it symbolized and what it means to me personally. I wake up and think about this dream and wonder what applications I can take from it.
Here's what I know so far: I am in His hands. In the last few months I have felt some intense loneliness, doubt, and at times despair. Luckily I come out of these moods rather quickly and move on with my day, thinking of things I'm grateful for or trying to think of others. But during these moments, I cry out to my Savior and ask that my burdens, fears, and doubts be removed from me. In those instances I feel so much peace as I know that I don't have to bear them alone. I know that he already suffered for my trials and grief and sins and I can take comfort in His enduring love for me.
I don't know how things will work out or why life hasn't turned out the way I've wanted it to, but I know I am in His hands. And when I choose to place my trust and faith in those once wounded but now perfected hands I know I will be ok.
I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and that we are all in His loving and giving hands.
