Perpetual Bench Warmer

One of the biggest tantrums I have ever thrown was in the 9th grade.

Ok, I probably threw way bigger ones as a small child, but lets face it: I can be emotional.

It was after a basketball game. I was frustrated that I never played. You see, that year I made the JV squad which was awesome, but the awesomeness wore off long after it boosted my fifteen year old ego. It was a frustrating time. I liked to play basketball. I was good. I was aggressive. I had a decent shot. And more than anything I wanted to play in the game, not just be a spectator.

Unfortunately, my luck did not change. Tenth grade followed in the same manner with not much playing time, eleventh followed suit, and twelfth ended with a big bench warmer bang (like the alliteration?). I was a bench warmer through and through.

Lots of times I feel like the bench warmer curse hasn't ended. Even though I rarely play basketball, it feels like in other aspects of my life (cough, dating), I never really get to play the game. I see other people in the game: getting asked out, dating boys, going to meet the parents, etc...I see the blood, sweat, and tears. But me, my bench warmer self, has not really had many opportunities to participate in the game of dating. It's a tough experience, always wanting to jump in, only for the coach (aka God) tell you, "not yet, Suz, it's not your time." I beg the coach to play, but he doesn't give me many minutes.

No, the blood, sweat, and tears for me happen on the other end. Wanting to play the game so much that the tears come at home, on the phone with mom (right?? :), or at night when no one else is around. The bench warmer syndrome is a tough business.

I don't share this to sound miserable or even to provoke a comment that says, "Suz, hang in there, you're awesome and the right guy will be so lucky when he comes along." No, I guess my point is to share that regardless of what "game" we are in, there are many times that we are sitting on the sidelines, waiting for our turn to play. It could be with unemployment, inactivity of a loved one in the church, not being able to have kids, health, etc...my bench warmer "sob" story probably lacks in comparison to many of yours.

Yet, what I love about this analogy is the lesson my mom taught me as a little 9th grader right after this tantrum occurred:

Susie. Make the best of it. Have a good attitude. Be cheerful. Work hard. And the outcome will result in something far greater than being a regular starter.

So that's what I'm trying to do. And sometimes I have to write a blog post to remind myself that regardless of being a bench warmer or a starter, I can still choose to be happy. And you can too.

That's it. I'm going to make dinner now.

Proud to be a BYU Cougar

And I'm not just saying that because everyone is getting "Jimmered."

Nor am I just saying that because BYU took a stand for truth and righteousness right before some vital pre-NCAA playoffs.

I am proud of both of those things, but here's the real reason:

I love that having attended BYU brings a good name and impression. It seems like in the last few weeks people have asked me where I have gone to school and of course, mentioning BYU automatically leads to a discussion about the Church. Like today, one of my colleagues pulled me aside and asked me about the honor code. He was amazed what I told him and had more admiration when we parted ways.

Sure, we didn't win the Conference. Sure, we probably won't win anything big in the NCAA playoffs (though I would like my faith to move that mountain.)

Yet, I am glad that as I associate myself with BYU, I am also associated with being a Mormon. And I like being a Mormon (go to www.mormon.org).

So, go BYU. Even if we never win anything, thank you for winning over some of those folks who may learn a thing or two about the Gospel as a result of the Jimmer nation.

Go Cougs!

Oh that I were popular!

It's one of those days that I just need to VENT!

Here we go...

As a teacher I have a difficult time balancing the desire to be well-liked or "popular" and the desire to be effective.

A well-liked/popular teacher at my school looks like this:

• Bends the rules and allows cell phones/ipods during certain activities
• Lets the kids eat food and have constant class parties
  
• Watches movies without educational value
• Gives students chill time
• Watches movies with educational value but without having them take notes
• Assigns no Homework
• Classwork consists of worksheets and busy work that only last half the period
  
• Tests can be taken with notes
• And the list goes on...

Me, on the other hand, I try to hold my students to high expectations (as noted in one of my blog posts several months ago). Sure, I have my days when one of these slip, but mostly, I am a tough, meanie of a teacher.

Yet, it still bugs me that I'm not as well liked as other teachers. Why does it matter to me what my students think about me?? My job is to teach, not to be your bestie. But words have that affect on me. I hate that I am so sensitive.

When I hear: "I hate this class. I want to switch out. This class is so boring." (In the best ghetto voice you can possibly imagine) it gives me so much anxiety and anger. I want to burst out:

"No, you have to like me! I do all of these things for you. I care about you. I want you to succeed. I bust my butt for you!"

But those words, although said a lot, do not register in many 14 year old's brains. Yah, all they can think about is their shopping spree to Forever 21 and 'which guy hooked up with which girl.'

So now I'm just mad. Mad that I want to be popular amongst the students when it really doesn't matter and mad that there are teachers that do squat in their classes, so the kids like them.

oh that I were popular. Why do I care??

(Deep breath)

a happy thought for today...

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! One of my favorite songs is this one by Bruno Mars. As I listened to it as I drove home from work today, I thought: "You know, when I find a man that feels this way about me, all the waiting will be completely worth it." And it made me happy; to know that it will happen and also to realize that I'd rather be single than to be with a guy that doesn't truly love me for who I am.

So if you're reading this and you have found your sweetheart (yes, I just entered General Authority vernacular), then I hope you remember why you love them and I hope that you're grateful for them.

And if you're reading this and you're like me who hasn't found the right person quite yet, hold off until you do find that person who truly loves you just the way you are...and it will be worth it. What a joyous thought!

Bruno Mars, you inspire me.

Success #1: Moonlight Swim & Skate

Being part of the Institute Council is fun. We organized an ice skating and swimming activity at a local rec center and invited all of the YSA's in the area to come and join us for a nice time. I only snapped a few shots but this is what I got. Don't get thrown off by the wig, it is me.

In my normal dance groove...it's hard to dance on ice by the way...

Eric, president of Institute, friend, and awesome DJ. He even dedicated a song to me. Now, that's what I call friendship.

My dancing ladies of love, Kathryn and Kelly. It's nice to fit in with the red heads.

I told Ryan I wouldn't post on facebook. But I never said I wouldn't post it on the blog...muhahaha. He looks sooooooo good. That's my boo.

And here's a quick video of the happenings from last night. So memorable for all of us.



So glad it was fun. So glad it's over. Now I can breathe a little better.

Success #2: Field Trip with Freshman

Here's success #2 of the week. I organized a field trip to a few of the Smithsonian museums with 60 of my students and 4 teachers, plus 2 parent chaperones. We managed to have a fun-filled day at the Library of Congress, the Natural History Museum, and the Air and Space Museum. The kids were troopers and enjoyed themselves. The best part was seeing the Early Americas Exhibit and having them recall all the information we studied in class. Every time they answered the question correctly, I shouted "Yes, I taught you something!" in my head. Such a great feeling. Definitely a successful day to be teaching in DC.

Yay me. Yay them.

The Chocolate Bump

This post is in no way designed to mock, scorn, or even make fun of my friends out there who are expecting a baby. Let me first say this: 1. I am super excited for you and your soon-to-be-fully-developed baby and 2. In all honesty, I would LOVE to be in the stage of life you are. So, with that said, and you knowing that I love you all dearly, let me proceed.

So while checking out facebook and friends' blogs I feel like there has been an ONSLAUGHT of baby bump pictures. I feel like it's expected as I am 26 (and many of my friends are around the same age) and a lot of my friends are expecting their first, or second kid. Again, VERY happy for you. I mentioned this to a group of girlfriends the other night. They had noticed a similar trend and you know, us being single and LDS, we're not likely to be pregnant yet. So there we were, checking out our tummies, and all of a sudden we realized that we have some kind of bump. Nope, not from a creature stirring inside of us, but from the amount of chocolate that we all like to consume (probably because the older we get, the lamer the boys are = increased chocolate consumption).

So because I do not want to be left out of this "bump" trend, I give you...

THE CHOCOLATE BUMP

Yep, there you have it. No kid in there. Just pure, unadulterated chocolate.

When it's the real deal maybe I'll post another one.

Happy Tuesday!