Perpetual Bench Warmer

One of the biggest tantrums I have ever thrown was in the 9th grade.

Ok, I probably threw way bigger ones as a small child, but lets face it: I can be emotional.

It was after a basketball game. I was frustrated that I never played. You see, that year I made the JV squad which was awesome, but the awesomeness wore off long after it boosted my fifteen year old ego. It was a frustrating time. I liked to play basketball. I was good. I was aggressive. I had a decent shot. And more than anything I wanted to play in the game, not just be a spectator.

Unfortunately, my luck did not change. Tenth grade followed in the same manner with not much playing time, eleventh followed suit, and twelfth ended with a big bench warmer bang (like the alliteration?). I was a bench warmer through and through.

Lots of times I feel like the bench warmer curse hasn't ended. Even though I rarely play basketball, it feels like in other aspects of my life (cough, dating), I never really get to play the game. I see other people in the game: getting asked out, dating boys, going to meet the parents, etc...I see the blood, sweat, and tears. But me, my bench warmer self, has not really had many opportunities to participate in the game of dating. It's a tough experience, always wanting to jump in, only for the coach (aka God) tell you, "not yet, Suz, it's not your time." I beg the coach to play, but he doesn't give me many minutes.

No, the blood, sweat, and tears for me happen on the other end. Wanting to play the game so much that the tears come at home, on the phone with mom (right?? :), or at night when no one else is around. The bench warmer syndrome is a tough business.

I don't share this to sound miserable or even to provoke a comment that says, "Suz, hang in there, you're awesome and the right guy will be so lucky when he comes along." No, I guess my point is to share that regardless of what "game" we are in, there are many times that we are sitting on the sidelines, waiting for our turn to play. It could be with unemployment, inactivity of a loved one in the church, not being able to have kids, health, etc...my bench warmer "sob" story probably lacks in comparison to many of yours.

Yet, what I love about this analogy is the lesson my mom taught me as a little 9th grader right after this tantrum occurred:

Susie. Make the best of it. Have a good attitude. Be cheerful. Work hard. And the outcome will result in something far greater than being a regular starter.

So that's what I'm trying to do. And sometimes I have to write a blog post to remind myself that regardless of being a bench warmer or a starter, I can still choose to be happy. And you can too.

That's it. I'm going to make dinner now.