Ode to Emilee

Today my cousin, Emilee, passed away from cancer. She has battled cancer for around 6 years. We knew that she would not live a long life, but the pain over her death is still there. Emilee is over 12 years older than me. She got married while I was young. I haven't spent a lot of time with her as life circumstances have been different. However, the sadness of her death still washes over me. With any death, I feel pain and despair. I can truly empathize with those that lose loved ones. At this time, I can't help but feel deep pain for her sons who are still young. This experience brings back memories of losing my father at the tender age of nine.

However, as Emilee has now passed on, I can't help but celebrate her life and remember her example.

Here's to Emilee who courageously fought cancer
Here's to Emilee who continued to live her life to the fullest
Here's to my cousin, Emilee, who has always been interested in my life's experiences
Here's to Emilee who excelled at so many things in life; school, piano, German, etc....
Here's to Emilee and her valiant testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and her desire to live it to the fullest.

I am grateful for the Plan of Salvation that allows me to remember that Jesus Christ has conquered death. Because of Him we will all live again. Because of Christ, we will see our loved ones again. I look forward to that time when I will be reunited with my dad, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends, and now Emilee.

I am glad that Emilee is no longer in pain. I am glad that she will be in the company of my father. He will take care of her as well as my Grandma and Grandpa Baer. She will not be alone. Nor will any of us; as heaven is nearer when someone departs. I have felt it.

I will miss you, Emilee.

When all is said and done, things are still kickin'

I kind of feel bad that my last post was a downer...but I have never been one to hide my true feelings. So here are some pictures of the fun things I'm doing in the DC area as of late. Teaching continues to be a challenge, but when all is said and done, life is still crazy fun.

Over a week ago, my group went to Harper's Ferry and Gettysburg. If you don't know what happened at those historical places, you should find out.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harper%27s_Ferry
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Gettysburg

Here's a view of Harper's Ferry. Cute historical town=breathtaking. My first time in West Virginia! State number 19 I believe.


Here I am with the Shenandoah river in the background. "Oh Shenandoah..."I sang the song in my head the whole time.

Meggie and I at Jefferson Rock. Supposedly Thomas Jefferson said that this view was one of the most beautiful in the U.S. I think we are the most beautiful sights you'll ever see...ok, I'm just fishing for compliments.

As we were gallivanting around the town we saw this dog stare at us through his own little window. Random. This would be real cute if I actually liked dogs; or animals in general.

While at one of the Harper's Ferry museums, I ran across this miniature classroom model. I couldn't resist taking a picture. I am such a teacher. My face looks a little strange.


Then we went to Gettysburg for a 2.5 hour car tour. It was fascinating, though I will readily admit that being in the car made me very tired (I did end up taking 4 naps the day we went to Harper's Ferry and Gettysburg...record breaking).

Here I am "studying" the Gettysburg map.

Here we are at one of the many Gettysburg memorials, North Carolina, I believe. This is for you, mom. Some of us were into it, the other lamos just stood there. I am ready to go into battle; so don't you worry about my preparation to defend my country.

I just thought this was a cool picture. This was taken on the grounds of one of the last battles.


Last Monday we went to a Georgetown basketball game with our FHE group. Here's Meggie and I with a Madrid fan...I have no idea why they passed these out.

Here we are in the bleachers. We were in the nosebleed section. The chairs were way comfy...so we could at least watch the Hoyas lose in style. Marisha, Wendy, Brooke (my mentor teacher; she came!), me, Colleen.

Here's the Verizon Center where they Hoyas and the Wizards play. Too bad either teams aren't doing too hot right now.
Oh and in case you're wondering if I really teach and really go to school, here's proof! Here I am in front of my classroom. It says, "Ms. Buerkle" in the background. But Brooke is kind enough to share her classroom with Colleen and I.


And in case you don't believe me with that picture, here's even more proof. Not only do I teach but I also go to PARENT-TEACHER conferences! Can you believe that I'm old enough to conduct those things? Yeah, I can't! Brooke, Colleen, your beloved.


And this is where it will have to end for now. There's more to say and more to do, but right now there's more to plan and more to prepare.

Peacin'.

A night for ice cream

So today has just been one of those days. Here are some reasons why ice cream is essential to my mental well-being tonight.

1. Teaching is mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting.
2. My students are realizing that I'm not an assistant teacher, I am THE teacher and they have to mind what I say. Results? They resent me and refuse to do their work.
3. My weaknesses are exposed constantly. It seems like I can never do anything right.
4. I have so much on my mind: Teaching, planning, Teacher Work Sample, resume, applying for jobs, figuring out where I want to teach and settle, men, graduation, people's health problems, family, thinking about my students, figuring out my life after April and the list goes on...
5. I am trying to juggle a million things at once and it seems like I can never get everything done or do what I want to do.
6. I miss close friends and family who truly get me and see where I'm coming from. I miss people who appreciate the person I am.
7. I chose the hardest profession and now I have to live with the consequences.

And so with all of these feelings, I start to feel like my whole world is crashing down on me when in reality it isn't. I just feel like being over dramatic and so I am.

Therefore, I declare this night a night for ice cream. Though I cannot fix all of these frustrations I can at least wallow away in a carton of ice cream.

Cheers.

Ain't goin' be stopped by nobody

For a long time I used to let people decide my sociality. With many social activities, I used to go or not go depending on whether or not my friends went to those social events. I remember times when I was so excited to go to a dance and then I learned that none of my close friends were going to go anymore. Crushed, I usually ended up settling for a mediocre movie rather than go to a dance that I looked forward to for weeks. Essentially I let others determine my sociality, not myself.

Well out with the old and in with the new. Since I've been in college, I have been much better about doing things that I want to do. However, I still felt held back to a degree until this past year. Suddenly I realized that I have interests that not all of my friends share; but I still wanted to do them. Now if I want to do something that is not agreeable by the masses, I still go. It's not easy by any means, but I am proud to say that every time I end up doing something that I really enjoy, I am ALWAYS happy that I did it and that I didn't let anyone stop me from doing it.

Tonight my ward had a Valentine's Day party (yes, one week late). I had planned on going for a few weeks. Well, today we went to Gettysburg and I knew I would be tired. I figured that many of my roommates wouldn't want to go because of the long day. I knew I had a choice: I could not go and stay with the roomies and fall into a homebody slumber or I could do what I originally wanted--go to the ward party.

I went to the party and it was a blast. I made new friends, enriched acquaintances, and danced the night away. I have a renewed testimony that I am the one that determines my happiness and my sociality.

No one is going to stop me from doing what I want to do; the only person who will stop me from doing what I want is myself.

Amen.

PreZident's Day weekend

I couldn't think of a more clever title...that's why I went for the lame misspelling instead.

This past weekend was spent mostly trying to recover from the busy school week. Teaching is an exhausting profession (more on that later in another blog post). However, I did get to do a few fun things. Wanna know what's going down in DC? Well here you go!

First stop: Eastern Market. This place is a big DC attraction for flea market goers. They even make crepes and pancakes right on the street! I felt momentarily transported back to Paris. However, my flashback only lasted as long as the American flag waving in the background. I bought a purse from India in DC. Kind of ridiculous.

There's me and a random dude, we'll call him Leonard. I like the artsiness that Leonard and I create in this picture.


Then I decided to play it cool against this orange-ish building. Sassy, I know. And in reality, it was a wall painted like a building...but it would be cool if that were the case.


I haven't even told you the best part! The best part was hanging out with my friend, Andrea for the afternoon. After heading to the Eastern Market, we went to this used book store that was filled with books galore.


Andrea loved all the books she found. I, however, felt a bit overwhelmed by the small space and the myriad of books. Little do you know that I was about to have a nervous breakdown with all of these books. The cause? Incessant fear that an earthquake would occur at that precise moment and all the books would crush me to death. Luckily that didn't happen and here I am still writing this blog.



After the book store we headed over to the Mall and walked around for a bit. It was a nice day so we took our time and reminisced about London. That's where Andrea and I met. tear.

I have to have a picture in front of the Capitol, so here I am with a pretty typical stance.

Then we met up with our beloved friend Tasha, who visited from BYU for the weekend. This was our first time seeing her since London in 2005. We went out to this delicious burger place and had the best malt ever. Holy cow! Hahahaha (get it??!!).

Second Stop: Old Town Alexandria. I met up with my chum, Sarah Johnson, for some laughs and drinks (lemon water). We went over to the Masonic temple. We actually didn't go on a tour because we were a bit mislead, but we did talk to some funny guys and found out a little bit about the Masons. Yet, I still have no real understanding of Masons in general...so I guess I am feeling the way many non-LDS people feel when they don't get all the info they want on the temple. We still had fun though!

Looking gangsta in front of the Masonic temple. (Not like the Masonic temple really inspires me to be gangsta).


Here's George and I (George Washington). I am on a first named basis with all of these presidents.


Then there was this cool mural with the founding fathers, so I got a picture of it. Oh, and I wanted to remind myself to watch my step.


After our confusing trip to the Masonic temple we decided to go for some food that we knew we could count on: Mexican. Ok, so we actually ate out at this Cuban/Puerto Rican restaurant but it gave us the comfort food we enjoyed. So here I am sporting my delicious chicken, rice, and asparagus dish. So tasty!


That concludes President's Day weekend. I definitely feel a closer bond to the U.S. presidents now that I teach about them, live in the nation's capitol, and have see their places of worship. What more could a girl ask for on such a momentous holiday?

I may be Valentine-less but I can still be happy

With all of the Valentine hooplah, it's easy to feel down if you don't have a significant other to celebrate with. The lack of candy or flowers or a homemade pillow may not disappoint you but the lack of sheer companionship can be hard to swallow. Honestly, I haven't thought too much about it until this week. Who reminded me of Valentine's Day?? My students, of all people. They bombarded me with a million questions, "Ms. Baer, do you have a valentine this weekend?" "Ms. Baer, what are your plans for Valentine's Day?" "What, you don't have a date? Well, I'll go out with you." Ummm...no thanks, that would be illegal.

Anyway, all of this hype over Valentine's Day has reminded me of a very important lesson I have learned this last year. It's one my mother has taught me time and time again. It's simple: Be happy where you're planted. It's not an easy task by any means. But I have learned that I have the choice to be happy in whatever circumstance I'm in. So as a singleton, I can love and thrive in my environment. I can enjoy each moment that single life brings me. Even when I do have a valentine (miracle of miracles), it will not automatically equate into blissful and eternal happiness. Once I do find that person, life will still be hard and I will still have to make the effort to be happy in a relationship or in my marriage.

So if you're like me and you are alone on this Valentine's Day, don't fret. Do something fun today. Be with people who love and appreciate you. Or just ignore it and pretend it's any other day. But most of all, choose to be happy.

And take comfort in the fact that students won't be bugging you at school next week, asking you what you did this past weekend with your valentine. (Diane, you may be the only exception to that!)

Lastly, if it helps and it should...the Lord loves you and He will forever be your valentine.

Your eyes are so big you could swim in them.

Thanks, Luis, for that compliment. I'm glad that my students recognize my beauty (though their comments are a bit on the sketchy side at times).

P.S. Doesn't my hair look awesome?