I heart my roommates--2013 version.

I've had many different roommates in my life and honestly I've had a lot of good ones. One thing that I realize as I'm getting older is that the roommates I've had over the years have truly served a specific purpose for me at that specific time. Whether it was the pre-mission years, post mission years, companions on the mission, London study abroad peeps, and the myriad of DC roommates I've had, all I can say is that these individuals have helped me to become the person that I am today. Thank you!

There is no doubt in my mind that my current roommates have a specific purpose in my life now. Obviously all of us would prefer to have a man for a roommate, but we all make the best of things. These ladies are fun, mature, wise, beautiful, spiritual, loyal, sensitive, caring, considerate, easy to talk to, and embody some serious Christ-like qualities. I am seriously so blessed!!!!! (Ok, can you tell that I have some serious "I am grateful" realizations this evening?)

Anyway, I just want to give a shout out to Michele, Allison and Melissa. Thank you for your strong examples, being there for me, giving me the courage to be better, and ultimately for influencing the woman I want to become. Loves! 

Seriously, amazing ladies.

The Fab 5

Ok, so pictured here we're the Fab 4, but imagine Dustin is here too.  

It's not everyday that you get to be in the same ward as 4 other former CTWMers (aka former missionaries that I served with in Canada on my LDS mission). But here we are saying goodbye to Eric as he ventures back west. 

I'm just going to be nostalgic for a sec: I loved my mission and I'm so glad I served one. 6 years later and I still get teary thinking about it. I have been greatly blessed. 

Eric, me, Blaze, and Robbie. CTWM forever.

A history teacher's dream come true--Peru 2013

If someone had told me 4 years ago that I would have found myself in Peru in 2013 I would have scoffed at them. Mostly because I have always viewed myself as a Europe girl-- obsessed with Jane Austen and all other BBC classics. And lets be honest, I barely even knew that Peru was in South America at that point in my life...(insert: "And you teach WORLD history?!?!" comment here...I promise I know my countries much better now!)

However, teaching world history to 9th grade students the last 3 years has rubbed off on me. Teaching the unit about Mesoamerican and Andean civilizations and ultimately how they have thrived has given me a newfound appreciation and desire to know more about them. Thus, the Machu Picchu obsession. And, I"ll admit, I wanted to get an iconic picture too. See below...

The trip was divided into 2 parts--the touristy Inca part and the cultural immersion part. We spent about 3 days touring various Inca sites and I definitely asked questions. Of course, the pinnacle part of the trip was Machu Picchu, the ultimate Inca University. It was fun for me to connect the dots and to see the puzzle pieces coming together. I also loved understanding the context of the Inca civilization and then understanding the demise of the Incas due to the Spanish conquistadors.

The second half was more of the cultural immersion aspect of the trip; touring lake Titicaca and spending a night with a host family. We ate their food, spoke limited Spanish with them, dressed in their traditional garb, danced with them and played some soccer with them as well. It gave me the realization-again-that these people may have little but they have big hearts. I was in awe of their simple, yet fulfilling life. I marvelled at the traditions they kept 500 years later. I was astounded by their ability to adapt, and to make use of their resources. Truly, I felt so humbled and grateful. Many of them had never been off the island, out of the major city (Puno), or out of Peru. Amazingly enough we met some other LDS people on the floating island of Uros. The gospel of Jesus Christ resonates into every home; whether in Suburbia, America or a floating island made of reeds in Lake Titicaca. So incredible! 

I could go on and on, but I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. I am so grateful for my opportunities to travel and explore new cultures and people. This was a history teacher's dream come true but also any normal person who yearns to travel and reflect on who they are, what they desire and what they are grateful for. I am blessed. Period. 

Airplane fun with photo booth--had to get some crazy pics in there

Layover fun with photo booth

flexing our muscles at the Qenqo Tomb in Cusco

At the Saksaywaman site overlooking the city of Cusco

Qorikancha temple/Cathedral. The Incas originally built this site and when the conquistadors came they destroyed the idols but then built a cathedral on top of it--go figure

A cool sign on our way to the Sacred Valley

Inca terraces, man were they resourceful!

Cute Inca girls. Totally paid 2 soles for this picture. The baby llama was worth it.

Eat, drink, and be merry...especially with Inca Kola. (not my favorite)

At the top of one of the Inca ruins, Ollantaytambo. My hair got windified...

Mmmm...Alpaca meat and potatoes. Quite good!

I got my iconic picture!

With the groupies and Machu Picchu.

Strutting my stuff within the ruins..you know, looking earthy.

Another view of Machu Picchu...next to the ceremonial center

Just wanted to show off my backside :) Machu Picchu below

Just one more time...it's AMAZING!

Inca temple ruin. After Machu Picchu, all other Inca ruins seemed obsolete.

Oh hey there llama! Or alpaca, can't remember which one. But I ate one of you a few nights ago...

High altitude. It was ridiculous.

Uros island, or the floating islands. And a tour boat. Typical.

She dressed me up in her clothes and then we figured out she was LDS. Talk about cool!

Kimberly and I in our cool Peruvian get-up!

Reed boat. It was awesome

Hard to row! I was laughing way too hard

Lake Titicaca from Amantani island

Played some soccer over the lake. The altitude about killed me!

Getting dressed in different Peruvian garb. Notice the clothes are different because we were on a different island!

With Estelle, our host sister

Our host family, Estelle, Augustine, and Julia. SWEETHEARTS!

Lake Titicaca at 8am

Oh hey!

best trout I've ever had--from Lake Titicaca

Happily about to devour a brownie and Argentine hot chocolate after touring the cacao museum and factory in Cusco

4th of July in Cusco!

Thought it was pretty cool that I've been to ALL of those places. I am srsly the best little traveler.

The Manna Mantra

People! I am determined to read the entire Old Testament. I guess I'll say it: I've never read the entire book of scripture. (You can all gasp now, if you'd like). Anyone else have this OT struggle? Because it is hard for me to get into it. But I think I've figured out the key: you need to read it along with the Sunday School and/or Institute manual, because otherwise you drown in the "begats" and other befuddled symbolism of Isaiah, Psalms, and Leviticus.

Anyway, there are some really neat things to draw upon when it comes to the Old Testament and here's my latest takeaway, or mantra from the scriptures.

Go to Numbers 11. This was one of the times that the Children of Israel complain about the abundance of manna and the lack of meat. The Lord provided manna to them as they wandered in the wilderness but that was never good enough for them. As they say in verse 4, "Who will give us flesh to eat?" Then they go on to say, "we remember the fish which we did eat in Egypt freely, the cucumbers, and the melons, and the leeks, and the onions, and the garlick. But now our soul is dried away; there is nothing at all beside this manna, before our eyes."

In other words, they'd rather be slaves again in Egypt so they can devour some melon again. Sheesh.

It's easy to judge their feelings and contempt because we know the end from the beginning. We know that because of their incessant complaining, they wander for 40 years in the wilderness. As I read this account, I'm shouting at the pages:

"People, just be grateful for the manna! Don't complain and you'll reach the promised land in no time. Oh, and by the way, don't worship any more golden calves while you're at it."

It seems so easy-peasy to us because we know what comes next in the story of the Children of Israel. But in my lovely life of mine, I have no idea what comes next. It's easy for me to complain about my own manna because who knows when I'll get to eat the meat. It's easy for me to recall the days when things were plentiful and my own metaphorical meat allowed me to thrive. Retrospect is golden...or deceiving at times.

Essentially, this story has allowed me to reflect on what my current "manna" is. Am I grateful for it? Do I thank the Lord for what he currently gives me? Do I make the best of my manna? Or do I scorn it? Despise it? Cry about it? And complain about it?

I am definitely not insinuating that this constant state of gratitude should be executed with 110% perfection. Because we are not perfect people and I know I have my "woe is me" moments. Honestly, they happen and it's ok, so don't be hard on yourself. However, I am insinuating that being aware of our own "manna" can empower us to "find joy in the journey," "be happy where you're planted," and all of those other cliches that my mother tells me on a very regular basis (and yes...they're true, thanks mom).

So when you're feeling like "the grass is greener on the other side," just remember to be grateful for your manna. Who knows when we will arrive at our own "promised land?" Also here's one thing that I have started believing in; with the help of some scriptures, prophets, and Sister Oaks:  

Our promised land will be that much more promising because of the attitude we choose to embody during our manna moments.

I hope I made sense. I just gave some serious metaphors and parallels...

Operation: No Operation

Here's my 2nd latest mantra...(and also a shout out to my favorite S-Dog, aka Sarah J for inspiring this mantra masterpiece).

It's called Operation: No Operation. In other words, no strategy, no worry, no convincing, no conniving, no planning, no nothing.

And I'm sure by this point, you're figuring out if this is a dating/marriage reference and the answer is yes (duh). Tangent: Sometimes I wonder what I will talk about on this blog once I do get married. Probably breast feeding, swaddling, and getting no sleep...but I digress.

I've realized in my 28 years of singledom--ok 12 years if you count when I started "dating"-- that you just can't play strategy with the Lord. Because I always lose. Life here on earth is not the game of Life. I don't spin a wheel, take 4 steps, miraculously win a graduate degree, then have twins 2 turns later. It doesn't work like that. And I think in my logistically minded brain of mine, I think that if I play it right I can grab the man and knock out a baby within a year. Think again, Suz.

The Lord is constantly teaching me and He humbles me. Because the girl who thought that this situation (the single sitch) would be solved by the time she was 23 is so, totally, wrong.

So, I'm constantly figuring things out. Like, how to not just deal with it but to be happy with life as is (see the above post). You know me by now, I've written dozens of blog posts about these things. And evidently, I'm still trying to learn the same lesson.

For now, I have no operation. And it feels nice not to strategize or to feel like I have to meet social expectations. I can do my thing, follow the spirit, and move forward (yes, my last mantra of "keep moving forward" still rings true to me).

We'll see how long I can stick with this one. But leaving Institute tonight was sure peaceful. Why? Because I had no operation, just pure confidence in myself, and a desire to trust. So I smiled at some men, had a nice one-on-one with a newbie, realized he's probably not that interested (I'm good at reading the signs), but that' ok, because I had no operation in the first place and someday there will be a guy who is SO TOTALLY INTO ME. It'll be grand.

For now, I'm controlling the controllables and THAT is empowering. Go me.

Some much needed validation

It's been a dang hard year. And I survived! But comments like these make it so worth it.  I think I am going to revisit this post again and again in the upcoming school year to remember that the pain is so worth it. Hurrah!

Oh yah, and it's SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh the ironies/moral dillemas of June!!!!

It's been 4-ever since I've written...

And it's mostly because the end of school year is so.dang.busy.

What have I been doing with my life? Well, here I go.

Working, planning, grading, working, attending social events, working, sleeping, sneezing (allegies), taking a breather at the lake, organizing temple committee events (that's my calling), and working, and grading.

Needless to say, it's been BUSY!

But--to go back to the title of my post.

June is a weird, surreal, and bittersweet month. The school year is coming to a close and it's at this point where I am 1. exhausted 2. mentally and physically checked out and 3. nostalgic.

All of a sudden the students who drove me crazy, gave me he**, and told me they hated me, all of a sudden love me. One of those charming students asked me a few days ago, "Ms. Baer, do you teach 12th grade history." No. "Oh, that's too bad. I want to take you."


That same student asked me today, "Ms. Baer, do you have a boyfriend?" No. "Oh, you'd make a good girlfriend. You're so nice."

Yes, and this same student also cursed me out most of the year when I took her phone and emailed her parents about her poor behavior. Isn't it ironic?

Another student who told me that he missed his old history teacher all year told me today that he's going to miss my class. What fickle kids!

June is also full of moral dilemmas. I have to give out final grades and decide if I should pass or fail a student. A senior saw me today and begged me to change her grade so she can graduate. I held firm and said no. I told her straight out that if she had come to class, paid attention in class, and did her work, she would succeed. She didn't do that. She cried and told me off. It's tough. I don't find joy in giving students F's but they get what they earned and I have to abide by that.

Anyway, these are a few random thoughts on a Tuesday afternoon. I am so happy for the summer to almost be here but I can't help but be a bit nostalgic. It's a been my 2nd hardest school year and I've had many moments of "Why do I do this job?" But when all is said and done and the students start to leave, I miss them, and realize that I have grown to love them as crazy and frustrating as they can be.

Oh, June!