Ready for a very honest blog post?
Here I come...
This fall has been challenging for a variety of reasons. If I had to give a theme for this fall it would be something like..."where the heck are the fruits of my labor?" and/or "I've been the good guy!"
Let me provide some context with that last statement. Anyone remember the classic LDS movie, "Prodigal Son?"
Obviously the late 80s/early 90s garb is to die for but besides that the movie has a good message. Assuming all of you know the story of the Prodigal Son I won't delve into details but the movie has some stellar points.
The one I'm talking about is the scene where the "righteous" brother pounds the piano keys and yells to his wife several times, "I've been the good guy! I've been the good guy!!!" this was the reaction to the younger, prodigal son getting all of this attention from family and friends after repenting.
Do you ever feel like you're the older brother? Wanting to pound the keys of your own metaphorical life and shout to the heavens: "I've been the good guy or the good girl?"
This fall I have. Sometimes I don't understand it. How, when you feel like you've always strived to do the right thing and you are not getting the praise, the validation, the fruits of your labor, or the blessings that you desire?
I know all of the answers you could throw at me. The talks, the scriptures, the counsel. I've been studying it a lot as this has been on my mind. My answer or my peace of mind has yet to come but I am searching,
I know this sounds like a faithless post but it's more just a place to vent. This sentiment, I know, can translate in any stage of life or circumstance. I think we all have felt this way before and I am not alone.
I know obedience produces blessings and I know that God's plan for us is greater than our own. I know that happiness is not circumstantial but based on our attitude and perspective. But sometimes I am tired of being the "Good Girl."
Thoughts? I welcome them...
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2 comments:
Susie, yes, I've felt that way before. It could be described as being disappointed that a certain blessing has not come to pass, or a prayer has not been answered. Or, the feeling of inadequacy or loneliness. I can relate to feeling like you're doing everything you're supposed to yet certain things are not working out. Two thoughts: As President Hinckley quotes his father..."Forget yourself and go to work." Secondly, after I read your blog yesterday morning, I started my exercise regiment, listening to conference. The next talk was by Neil L. Andersen - Trial of Your Faith. I felt like it directly related to what you said. It touched my heart as I listened and thought about your feelings. Give it a read. I cannot do it justice. However, two quotes I love, "as we remain faithful during the fiery trial of our faith, we are spiritually refined and strengthened." and Second, "Hold on … , fear not … , for God shall be with you forever and ever" Love you tons! Can't wait until Christmas!!!!!
I wish I were as wise as Julie. All I can say is that you are the master of your own actions and thoughts. You will be blessed as you continue to keep the commandments. Heavenly Father loves you and is aware of you. "Trust in the Lord..."
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