Presh.

A sweet teaching experience today:

While my student teacher taught my 9th grade classes today, I got to hold one-on-one conferences with my students regarding their grades and their research papers

After discussing my student's research paper with him, he reached down, gave me a side hug and said, "Ms. Baer, you're a great teacher."

The way he said it and the moment was just perfect. My heart melted.

One of my co-workers, who was sitting close by, said, "Baer, those are the moments you hold onto..."

And yes, I'll hold onto that one.

"I would rather to have felt the sting than to have never felt a thing"--# IngridMichaelsonagainspeakstomysoul

Happy Valentine's Day! As I was driving home today I realized that I have posted a blog entry on every single Valentine's Day and this year is no exception.

Recently, I have questioned Lord Tennyson's epic lines:

Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Those words ring truer and deeper in my heart than they ever have before. Part of me wishes I could crumple them up and just throw them in a trash can. Another part of me empathizes with Mr. Tennyson with every ounce of my soul. Sometimes I want to escape into "I am ignorant about love" la-la-land and not ever feel the sting of the hurt that comes from loving and losing out.

However, the optimistic, faith-promoted side of me is grateful that I can indeed feel deep love for someone; that I can feel this thing called love.

That I can learn how to care, to give my all, to see them the way that the Lord sees them. It's beautiful that love like that is possible. And that it will be possible again.

So if you're still wondering if this blog post is going south or north, let me assure you that it's going north.

Here are some optimistic lessons on love that I have learned, thanks to someone:

**it's possible to be my weird, sensitive self and to be liked
**it's possible to be found utterly attractive even when I'm wearing sweats
**it's possible to be the leading lady and not just the supporting actress
**it's possible for relationships to occur naturally with no coercion or convincing
**it's possible to catch a glimpse of the Lord's love for someone because you learn to love them

I am grateful to have felt the sting. Though the stinging hurts now, the lessons are priceless.

Ok, Mr. Tennyson, you're right. I won't crumple up your words after all...

Oh and ps. Happy Valentine's Day! Love truly is grand in all of its forms! I hope we can share it regardless of our current "status."

Counting my blessings...

So I am going to start copying my sister Chrissie and start counting my blessings. Although I have no holiday to attribute it to, I can always be grateful regardless of the season, right?

For today this is what I've got:

• I am grateful for my student teacher, Jeff. Although he is a man and thinks way different than I do, he is very flexible, friendly, and willing to help. He's also a great listener.
• I saw one of my former students from last year. She wants me to write her a letter of recommendation. She also told me that she misses my class and that it was one of her most organized, fun, and educational classes from last year. I almost cried...
• I got evaluated by my assistant principal and I felt pretty good about it. I love how I'm at the point in teaching that I am comfortable in front of my students and I feel confident with changing up my lesson plan if needs be. I did just that while she observed and it was no big deal. I am past the point of survival and in the trenches of being effective. I love it when ideas just click and they work with the students too!
  
• I am grateful for my friends. I have felt extremely loved recently because of their thoughtfulness and prayers.
  
• The temple. I went with so much angst and left with so much peace. I literally felt the Lord say to me, "Be still and know that I am God."

Hope you all recognized your blessings today too. I know I need to do this daily to keep my thoughts focused on what truly is most important.

Learning to fly...again

Back in 8th grade before tapes became completely obsolete, my brother, Stephen, made me a mix of music that included everything from Boston to Pearl Jam. I used to love that tape and I listened to it all the time.
One of my favorites on there was "Learning to Fly" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. See below for the music video.



This has remained one of my favorite songs of all time and has a lot of significance for me. Every time I am about to embark on a new journey in my life, I blast this song to remind me that I can learn to fly, even if I don't have wings. It inspires me to do hard things and that I can deal with hard things that come my way. Change is constant, but I can learn to fly with it and be okay.

I just reached another one of those crossroads in my life where I am learning to fly...again. I don't know how things will turn out, or what the end result will be but I am striving to learn how to fly all over again.

Somehow I'll land and I'll be okay. In the meantime, I'm flying...

"The Mormon Moment" in Little Provo

Some of my best friends are famous! Namely,

The one and only MJ Henshaw (that's a bottle of Martinelli's folks, some of the finest drinks around)
And C1 Poster Child, Eric Cragun. It's probably a good thing he doesn't read my blog or he'd hate me saying that...
Check out this link here to see what they have to say about Mitt Romney and the way members of the Church view him in the DC area. Yes, we often have many "Mormon Moments" here in DC...

killing them with kindness is killing me...

Thanks, mom, for teaching me to be nice to people. Cause if I wasn't taught that, there is no way that I could survive my job.

I will admit that many words have been in my head recently towards my students and many of them have not been kind. BUT, outwardly I have shown them kindness...that's a start right?

To be honest, with the student population that I teach, I feel the best way to manage them and to work with them is to be so, so kind. If I get too upset, it usually backfires. It's pretty rough to always be kind especially when they yell out things like:

"Your class is boring"

"I should have taken AP..."

"Why you do too much?"

"You're gettin' on my nerves"

"Hey shoddy Baer"

"@$!# you" (Happened a few days ago...)

"You're irritatin'"

"I hate this class"

"This assignment is so stupid"

Half way through the school year brings up so many warm and fuzzy expressions, right?So here I go trying to kill them with kindness:

"Great to see you today! I am so happy you're here." (In my mind I'm thinking, "Crap, they're here. Why did they come to school today?)

"Wow, I love your sweater. Did you get it at Forever 21?" (Me, trying to stay in on my student's fashion)

"You made a really insightful comment, I love it when you do that." (thank you for not cursing)

"You did such a great job being productive today in class, thank you for your participation" (wow, you actually completed half of your classwork)

Killing them with kindness is almost killing me. After the last few days, I'm barely keeping my head above water. And hopefully I'm making a difference somewhere in there...

It's not very often...

That I get to be surrounded by 6 strapping men. I guess I should soak up the attention while I can!

Thanks for the 5 minutes of Susie Spotlight!